I hope you enjoyed Claude McKay’s poem. You can see it again here…
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/features/video/289
Please share your thoughts on the poem with us in the comments section below. Also feel free to share your list poems with us too.
I hope you enjoyed Claude McKay’s poem. You can see it again here…
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/features/video/289
Please share your thoughts on the poem with us in the comments section below. Also feel free to share your list poems with us too.
I liked doing the poem and it”s very interesting. Also it has a nice feeling when you read it and the first verse goes really quickly.
Here is the title I thought of.
Memories of my Hometown
Here is the poem I write.
Sparking sapphire and orange and yelling yellow,
Blueberry bright blue and lovely lilac,
And green and red and pearl pink,
Fit for rainbows
By Sophia Sergides
Grafton School
Hi Sophia,
I’m pleased you liked the poem. How would you describe the tone or feeling of the poem?
I think your poem is wonderful…
“Yelling yellow” is a wonderful phrase… I wish I had wrote it myself. Have you shown your teacher? I think they would be very proud.
Is it based on a particular place? Like how McKay based his on Jamaica?
The poem you was awesome because it sounds like a rhyme but maybe you can add more information.
I like the illituration blueberry bright blue. Thats an amazing word.
My Poem:
Tower of Khalifa is skyscraper
and the cars racing by
and the waves crashing towards
the beach
and the killer whale
flapping its tail
Dubai headbutted the SUN !
I love this poem its is really interesting it makes me feel like there is a sun out-side when there isn’t!!! very described
Sophie that was a good feeling and it sounds very very peaceful
Hi Sophia
I really enjoyed reading your poem. I had to read it very quickly because there are hardly any full stops in it.
Ruqayyah Rahman
Grafton Primary School
Hi sophia,
I really liked your poem it really took the vibe of claude mckay and how you made it your own well done
Oh Sophia that is quite amazing and I am very proud of you. Michael is so right ‘yelling yellow’ is a stunning phrase and not only does it use alliteration well, but my goodness it describes just what that noisy colour does! You are a genius and Michael and myself are quite envious. Enjoy Thursday! Annax
I liked the poem as it all is very interesting and it makes me feel warm in side.
I thought of give me back as my title
my poem is
cought colds and snezes and ranny sore pink nose
and sore throts and chest
and everythink and scrschy spots
fit for nobody at all.
by Holly Fay
Grafton School
Hi Holly,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us.
It’s interesting to see McKay’s opening stanza being altered for a negative effect.
I agree with you
I like the Claude McKay’s poem because in the first verse, it had lots of ands and it made it really exiting .
Here’s a poem I made up:
The features of a house
Large rooms and Tvs and water melons at the table and
game consoles and computers and kitchens and round tables,
fit for a large house
Ahura Farhadi
Grafton Primary School
Hi Ahura,
I think you’re right the use of numerous “and”(s) makes the McKay and your poem exciting. I think adding a water melon to your description makes a contrast with the everyday items you list.
Keep up the hard work.
Well done , Ahura
I was really inpresed to see what great you peformed.
Monasar Abdalla
Grafton primary school
Hi I’m going to write a poem…
Two human saiyans
I’ve discovered two
strange humans
fighting
each other
with amazing
powers.
Then I heard one
call a
name.
I heard goku is that his name
I wondered BOOM!!!.
Ahhhh! I shouted he shot
something it was
called final
flash suddenly
the other
changed his hair
changed it
turned golden.
In a flash there
was nothing left
surprisingly I was still
alive but what happen to
them.
By Eddyan
I really liked McKays poems because its really quick and fun. Here is the title that i thought of for McKays poem, The remebrance of life, Here is my poem
Roast chicken and gravy and
Barbecue sauce with sweet potatoes
And lush aubergine and meringues
And wine and chocolate granolla
Fit for a King
From Blertina Grafton
HI Blertina,
Thank you for sharing your poem. I think your alternative title for McKay’s poem works really well and I like the way your list of food conveys a sense of luxury.
Keep up the hard work.
I really liked McKays poem because it was really passionate. Here is my poem
teenager phone
A phone you can share and call your friend,
waiting for a call from your lover
hoping he is a hugger.
fit for a life of a teenager.
Hi Mohamed,
I think that’s an excellent description of McKay’s poem. I wouldn’t have used the word “passionate” but now you say it I think you’re right. Thank you for helping me to see the poem in a new way.
The title I made up for McManus poem Is gone forever Jamaica. I chose this because he goes to new York from Jamaica.
To Michael from Charlie grafton school
I thought that Mckays poem was really cool this is the poem I made up in the style of McKays big trillions and little
and eiles all over the place and
Nice food and horrible
And most certainly fit.for royal.customers
To Michael from Charlie grafton school
Ps I rote McManus instead of mckay
I think that title works well Charlie. Why do you think McKay opted for “The Tropics of New York”?
Portugael
tropical fruits and white sheeps in sky,
gigantic pinapples and fancy balloons staunting,
golden fire balls and blue strips waving
Fit for the peferect living place for the furture.
Hi Stacey,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. Your description of Portugal is full of energy. I think some of your descriptions are very imaginative. Are “white sheeps in the sky” clouds?
I loved McKay’s poem because it is very compelling and makes you know how he felt after seeing those fruit and how much he missed his home. Here is my poem:
Tokyo – Japan
Books filled with manga just behind the glass
And vast screens streaming anime non stop and
Offices towering above the roads and
Cosplay stores on every corner.
Aaina Siddique
Duncome Primary School
HI Aaina,
Yes I found McKay’s poem very moving too. I really like the second line with the alliteration of the s and the sudden “non stop”.
seed section in Tesco
poppy seeds and opening sesames
liquor sees and coffee beans
and lentils
fit for a seedy feast
This reminds me of the seeds that grow in turkey . I can picture the fields that we passed on our journeys to visit our family, members all over turkey.
Duncombe Primer school
HI Deniz,
Thank you for sharing your poetry with us and your memories of Turkey… Perhaps you could write another poem about the fields and the journey with your family?
Dhaka
The sounds of rain and the big cold snowy balls
and the grey clouds galloping across in the sky,
and the fresh juicy ruby beads fall onto the ground leaving the tree,
And tall houses and the stream of food,
and the sounds of cars in little streets,
Fit for the perfect atmosphere
Hi Maya,
Thank you for sharing your poems with us. The “galloping clouds” is a fantastic image.
Keep working on your poetry and I think you’ll find it will get better and better.
i like his poem
Emirates Stadium
The games were starting the grass was glistening and the players were sweating and the players were scoring and kicking and fouling and exciting and screaming,th scarlet red and gold shirts igniting flames a place to score is right here.
Hi Aaron,
Being an Arsenal fan I really enjoyed your poem… I really liked the end “igniting flames” and “scarlet red and gold shirts”
I think you should try re-drafting this but adding in some line breaks…
Faster then a shoting star and has two goles and hear comes the ball and has lodes of seats fit for a foot ball pich.
duncombe
Hi Terence,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. You create a very exciting start with the image of a shooting star…
I’d like to see you try and use line breaks to structure your poem next time…
I like Claude Mckay’s poem cos he use metaphors and descriptives laugues (The troprics of new york).
Chidren
Children running up and down macking lots of mess all around and when they eat they love there meat and gobal and mack trouble but still have fun.
Thank you for sharing your poem Mohammed.
I’d like to see you extend your poem further. What else do the children get up to?
You certainly convey their energy to us.
IRAQ
The hot tea and the horse rides and the Crystals falling out of the earth and the family visits and the cold and hot food and call of the prayer and the mosques fit for Iraq.
Hi Ava,
It’s lovely to receive poems about different parts of the world…
I’m interested in the crystals falling out of the earth.
Could you tell us more?
I liked Claude McKay’s poem he uses metaphor and lots of and’s in it.
I really like the poem. It was interesting and fun.
I wonder what inspires him to write them…
Mehnaz
Duncombe
A ice cream shop amazing smell creamy ice a shop that makes you dribble a lush taste sweet flavours caramel and chocolate and strawberry and bubble gum and coffee with waffles .Scrumpitious lushous and tasty smell of ice cream makes me feel nice and cool on a hot day.
Hi Nabil,
The list of ice-cream flavours works really well and makes us long for a taste especially on a hot day.
Remember to experiment with line breaks too.
In Spain is very hot and I like Spain ,and we are going swimming ,played with my freinds or played with my dad footballand going to a museum and my dad and mum is wedding in London.
Hi Johan,
Thank you for sharing a poem about Spain with us. It sounds fun with its heat and football.
See if you an use line breaks next time like McKay did… where would you have your first line break?
What I liked about Claude McKay’s poem is that it shows us that what he did when he was young.
This is my poem:
Sweetness
Sticky treats and sweetness like pie,
But what should I eat ?I need to decide.
Good smells everywhere,
Which one is the best? But first I really should give it a test.
Heaven all around,
Which one should I pick? and if I do I need to be quick.
By Tasnim Aziz
(Duncombe Primary School)
HI Tasnim,
That’s interesting that you think McKay is writing about his youth. I haven’t considered what age he might be when he wrote it…. but I understand why you might think he’s young….
What made you think he’s young?
I really enjoy reading your poem!
It was very intresting
Ambler Primary School
my poem
sherbit pits and icy cups and ruberd and custed and flying sause and teeth and chocolate mouses and rain drop thats for a treat
duncombe
Hi Demi,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. The list of sweets works well and certainly sounds like a treat…
The London Eye and The Bright Blue Strip
and Big Ben and Tower Bridge and Schools
and the Museums and Libraries and the Arsenal Football Stadiums
and the House Of Parliament and Water Falling from the sky
Fit for London
Duncombe
Hi Zulfah,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us.
I like the way you list the London sights but you change the last phrase to the weather… it makes for an interesting end.
Fresh water, wavy oceans with blue shine above it, salty water with ships horning.
Angle fishes eaten by devil sharks deep water ,octopuses hitting with long hisses.
Hi Shihab,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us…
I like the way you poem appeals to many senses… we hear, see and taste…
I liked Claude McKay’s poem because all the ‘ands’ make the poem exciting.
This is my poem:
Wonders of a shop:
Bangles shiny and pretty,and silver jingly bells,
A blur of colours fill my eyes and I saw cutlery like forks,
And noise filled joy was everywhere and sound and now the prices fell,
This is all fit for a cat walk.
By Khadijah Chowdhury
(Duncombe Primary School)
Hi Khadijah,
That’s an original idea to change the poem to focusing on a shop and a very clever last line.
Keep up the hard work.
BUCKINGHAM PALACE
The sun shining on the gold gates opening automatically
and the ruby red throne shinning with glimmer
and the building is tall and fragile looming over me
BY MAHIR
Duncombe primary school Year six
Hi Mahir,
Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.
You use alliteration really well in the first line and I like your ending…
Promising work. Please continue to share with us.
West borne Park
the best place of all
And sometimes chew on a bark
I love the buses
Because that’s where my dad works
But I know one person that fuses
And that is me!
The garage is full of buses
and bolts and nuts and petrol hoses
and the red colour of happiness
and that is the place I love!
Th
e
ne
w
c
(f
am
il
y
ar
e
up
se
t)
ar
cr
ash
es
FOOTBALLS
T-shirts and players and goals and footballs.
Lots of players get fouled, and then have falls.
Footballs are black and white shaped spheres,
And all of our fans all cheer!
I got inspired to do this because Claud McKay used a lot of ands!!!
Hi Mohamed,
It’s good to see you experimenting with list poems.
Please continue to share your poems with us.
Arsenal Game
Blood red shirts and ingite inflame
It’s time to start the game
excitement and shrieking
when they score
I feel like screaming!!!!
by Hamza, Duncombe
What a fantastic opening line Hamza…
That reminds me of how I feel when Arsenal score!
Me and my friends playing and running about.
All the rainy days
staying inside playing games.
Talking about how we feel.
Sat next to my friends
bringing back memories of rainy day and playing games.
That was the past.
my eyes grow dim, and I could no more gaze.
I turned my head and started to
cry.
And, hungry for the old familiar ways.
Dalia
Hi Dalia,
I like the way you’ve changed the focus of the poem from a place to people and friendships. The change works really well.
Keep up the hard work.
Red raspberries
and bananas,
and juicy apples,
and sweet lemons,
And lime,
and watermelon,
and fresh pineapple,
Fit for a healthy lunch.
Sat in my room, bringing memories of
fresh fruit my mum brought,
And a healthy lunch,
and a wonderful sweet taste.
My eyes grow dim,
and I could no more gaze;
A wave of sadness came through my heart,
And hungry for the old, familiar ways,
I went to eat some fruit
Just the way I like it
Zara
Hi Zara,
Your list poem in the first stanza works really well… and I like the way you’ve experimented with line breaks adding in more than McKay.
How do you think this changes your poem?
Everyone was with me
Friends teachers TAs
Full of noise and conversation
Smart children doing their work
Some chatting and studying
Sitting next to the window,
thinking about those memorable moments
of my childhood and my time in school
Missing those moments in school
I love working and studying
Eyes were full of tears
Life was full of happiness at that time.
There was a time when I could write and draw
And now those times are over.
I like this poem because it gives a sense how a classroom sound like. To add to this it gives information of what they do.
Hi Bethel,
Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback to another pupil. I think your feedback is very helpful and clear. I like the poem too as it shows how quickly moments of time pass and poets are always interested in this.
this is my poem: frightful faces ,and beastly costumes,and pumkin bags cheerful laughter ,and fed up parents knocking on doors and screaming and trick or treating and parnets scrolling behind fit for hallaween!!!!
Hi Ellie,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us.
This is the first Halloween poem of the year. I like the “frightful faces”. Perhaps you could use line breaks next time?
This is my favourite poem, its called: On the Ning Nang Nong
On the ning nang nong,
where the cows go bong,
and the monkeys all say boo,
theres a nong nang ning where the trees go ping,
and the tree tops jibba jabba joo!
Hi Lillie,
I’ll post a link to it in the Poems You Like section.
i really enjoyed the poem and because i am from jamaica i could really imagine jamaican fruit and how colourful the country is.here are my titles for the poem of McKay
Gone
missing part
home sweet home
good memories
here is my poem
lace white and lilac,and cream cake,the guest happy and the bride,And the groom and costumes and family laughter
fit for a big white wedding
thank you for reading my poem
Missing part is a super title… it would work really well.
It’s interesting to hear that you could relate to the poem Lattina.
I really enjoyed the wonderful poem by Claude McKay as in the first verse there are so many ands but it still the poem is wonderful and effective.
Here is a verse that I tried in Claude McKay style . . .
Bats and balls and skipping ropes,
just lay there years and years,
waiting and waiting with hopes,
fit for children with tears.
Hi Shahanur,
I’m really pleased you enjoyed the poem.
We enjoyed your poem too and I’m left wondering why has the bat, balls and rope been left lying there for so many years.
DO YOU REMEMBER ME AND JOSEPH FROM AMBLER
I like McKay`s poem because it feels like it is never going to stop and then it suddenly does stop.
My poem is:
Gone
Tall grass and sleek horses and
cows that say moo and
scratchy rats and
cottages and
tall hedges that you can only just see over
fit for the country side.
Hi Jay,
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. I think you’re right the first stanza seems so relaxed and expressive that McKay’s sudden exhaustion and sadness is a shock. Thank you for sharing your own poem too.
birthday poppers and cakes and screaming kids dancing singing and party bags and balloons and juice and birthday girl.
Fit for the perfect birthday party!
i really like this poem so much!
Which poem Maisha? Your own or McKay’s or both?
i like McKay’s poem the best
I liked that poem becuase the poem was really intresting and easy to work out . All we needed to do is make a rthym.
This is what i made for an example:
Football shirts, players,shin pads, kits with numbers,goal posts, nets, boots,astro turf, fit for the greatest masters.
Hi Monasar,
Your poem is a list poem too but McKay’s uses “ands” when yours doesn’t. How do you think that makes your poem different to McKays?
At first i was confused i didn’t know what was going on but i felt like it was really fast and exiting , i like the way he keeps on saying and and and and it got me a little bit dizzy. i tried to do one my self
Crashing waves and seagulls and golden sand and a breathtaking sunset and coconut trees and cocktails and seashells all fit for the beach
Hi Basmala,
You’ve created a lively and vivid poem by connecting together images conneced to the sea side.
I look forward to reading more of your poetry soon.
When i first saw Mcaky’s poem it had lots of and and in it. But then when i read it again it was very good. And i tried to write my own…
missing you jamaica
The sun and
sea and boiling
hot weather people
relaxing and sun
bathing and swimming
and waves and
golden sand fit
for the beach
Hi Cansu,
Thank you for sharing your poem.
Titles tell us a lot about poems and I think yours is a very effective one setting the tone for the poem to come.
i really liked this i thought it was brilliant how claude mckay did this
here is my title: Memories of Life
here is my poem
bananas yellow and apples red and green and oranges juicy and coconut trees and fruit stores and fresh fruits Fit for the best of fruits
Hi Baris,
I think colours make big impact in a poem. Do you agree? Your poem springs off the page with the colours you’ve listed…
i really liked this i thought it was brilliant how claude mckay did this
here is my title: Memories of Life
here is my poem
birthday parties and presents and cakes party bags and sweets kisses hugs and happy times and love and celebrate and thank you’s Fit for times with your family
by baris From Grafton
I found the poem by Mckay quite strange at first because it was not written in the same format as normal poems and it also kept on repeating the word and.
Title: The Sweetness of Sweets
Candies sweet and minty, and lollypops succulent and flavourful, and marshmallows gooey and white, and cupcakes and chocolates fit for the highest of teeth.
Ruqayyah Rahman-Grafton Primary School
Hi Ruqayyah,
Thank you for your poem with it’s list of sweets.
In what way did you think McKay’s poem was different to a normal poem?
I’m partially Jamaican so I found McKay’s poem really interesting and it gave metar a sense of Jamaica but then he had to move away .
The title I thought of was The old Caribbean ways and this is my poem.
Treasures of topaz rubies and diamonds emeralds gold and sapphires
and silver and moon stone and pearls fit for the most high
“The old Caribbean” is another great alternative title…. I really like the opening of your poem too with “Treasures of topaz”…
thanks michale
I enjoined Claude McKay’s poetry because of the way he has made many included
Tropics.So I decided to make my own poem (this is only one verse of my poem:)
Sunny spells and raging rains,travelling with a famous football
player Leighton Baines,Sometimes we would eat,craft and we would
also play,after a week we decided to stay.
I really liked that poem because it made sense and had some feeling in it.
Here is my own poem:
strawberries like sapphires glinting in the lemon sun,
prunes like beetles fending for themselves,
The banana comes up in the night time sky ,
apples are little pebbles and as you step on them you can taste the juice they appeal,
but those things were before not now or later.
Well done to all the contributors from all our schools. There were some really nice phrases and images ‘Dubai headbutted the SUN !’ was cracking Dalha! Graftonites – don’t forget to write Grafton after your name. I particularly liked Lattina’s ‘lace white and lilac’ and I was so impressed with those of you who have ‘come out of your shell’ and and left a silvery trail. I’ll be expecting talking next!!! Annax
I like the way McKay wrote his poem
Twinkling sapphires and Cinnamon gold
Blood red rubies and Pale emeralds
Topaz and Diamonds and Silver
Fit for someone who collects treasure
I thought the Claude McKay’s poem was very exciting and I could amagine all the things he was discribing.
This is the best poem out of the three because it has more of a flow and it has an animation with it.
Raffy TIndale
Gillespie
I really liked the way mckay was describing the fruits of his hometown and that he is proud of his country.Here is a title i made up. Gone! I have also did a poem that goes like:
Candyfloss curling and chocolate fountains and sour mints and creammy ice cream and
whirly vanilla and chocolate cupcakes
I think the poem was good and interesting.
Gillespie
Here is a poem of my own:
The cake for the birthday
Add your ingredients
Mix and stir
Time to bake
Decorate the chocolate cake
With sprinkles and icing
A candle to make a wish
I hope you get your golden fish
And just say happy birthday
I had to listen to this a couple of times to make sense of it. I liked listening to it because the guy’s voice made you think he was the person in the poem.
I liked the poem because it had many adjectives in it to describe all the fruit that he could remember and the place that they reminded him of. You really felt what he was feeling and that he was longing to go back to where he came from.
Lychees, bitter sweet and juicy.
Apples, round, red, green but Golden Delicious are my favourite.
Pears, green raindrops that fall from a tree.
Pineapple, sticky, sweet on the inside but rough and vicious on the outside.
Stare at you as you pass them begging you to buy them.
I will always remember White Brothers selling them on the Blackstock Road.
One day I will leave but the memory will stay.
Gillespie School
Claudes poem was very interesting and detailed. I was actually imagining that I was in Jamaica with all the fruit and vegetables.
Ruqayyah Rahman
Grafton Primary School
I made a few titles up for Mckays poem:
GONE
Forever gone Jamaica
Lost in my heart
Ruqayyah Rahman
Grafton Primary School