Week 2 Writing Gallery

Please share your writing with us here.

We look forward to seeing your advertisements inspired by John Joseph Merlin.

81 thoughts on “Week 2 Writing Gallery

  1. Class 4B, Yerbury have greatly enjoyed this week’s lessons based on Gainsborough’s portrait of John Joseph Merlin.

    This is Benny’s advert inspired by Merlin’s Two Robot invention.

    1. Hi Benny,

      Congratulations on your advert. Merlin was very interested in robotics and automation so I could imagine him creating this.

      Keep up the hard work.

    2. Well done Benny, we’ve been learning about persuasive texts and John Joseph Merlin too. We really like your pictures and the colours you chose to persuade us; they are big and clear and stood out. This caught our eyes and made the information clear to us. If we could buy it, we would; however, we know from the price you charged that it was from the olden days.

    1. Hi Grace,

      Did you see the automated swan Merlin created? This is very similar and something I’d imagine he’d be interested in. In fact I think he may have invented a carousel at a pleasure gardens in London.

    2. Well done Grace,

      Your information is extremely clear. We like how you have set out the writing in different places and not bunching it all up in a melee. We like how you have targeted a selected audience – because this way the girls would feel more like buying it.

    1. Hi Mati,

      What a fantastic advert. I like your slogan and your lay out is clear. I hope you have brakes in yours unlike Merlin!

      1. Well done Mati,

        We found your advert skate-tastic! We like your play on words, your choice of colour, your use of BOGOF (buy one get one free), your slogan and your use of rhetorical question.

    1. Hi Amal,

      I’m glad you were inspired by the Merlin’s swan; I find it incredible too. I like your quotes by Reynolds and the King.

      Keep up the hard work.

    1. HI Rocio,

      Congratulations on your advert. I like the way you’ve used a question to involve the reader.

      Keep up the hard work.

    1. HI Ellie,

      Your super skates look remarkable.. and I’m sure having them in different colours would prove popular too.

      Keep up the hard work.

    2. “wow Ellie you have done a splendid piece of writing what I’m gonna say is pretty much the same as Goda wow

    1. Hi Lara,

      That’s a clever slogan you’ve created. The use of rhyme makes it memorable.

      Keep up the hard work.

    2. Fantastic work, Lara. You have drawn a beautiful image and use some persuasive language. We can see you have put lots of pride into your advertisement.
      Well done! From Rowling Class 🙂 at Canonbury

    1. Hi Lucian,

      What a great name for your product. Lightning skates makes them sound very fast and exciting. I’m sure they’d be a best seller.

    1. Hi Neeve,

      I like your sketch of the roller-skate. They look very much like the original roller-skates and you remembered that Merlin’s skates had one fault; no brake.

  2. These adverts are for Rowling and King Class in Canonbury School by Kieran, Archie, Daisy, Ivan, Lali and Ashana. This week we learnt a lot about the ‘art’ of persuasion and how the media can use it to influence us.

    1. HI Canonbury,

      Thank you for sharing your advert. I like your use of a question to involve the reader. It works really well. Robots that cook.. what an amazing idea. I’ll have to start saving now!

  3. These adverts are for Rowling and King Class in Canonbury School by Kieran, Archie, Daisy, Ivan, Lali and Sara.

    1. Congratulations on your advert. You’ve remembered that Merlin enjoyed creating musical instruments and based your advert on this.

    1. What an exciting image. It grabs our attention. Many adverts focus on one main image and yours does this very well.

      Keep up the hard work.

    1. Congratulations on your advert.

      I really like your images especially the special edition robot. It looks fantastic. I could imagine Merlin creating a similar product if he was alive today.

    1. I like the way you’ve provided contact information for your product…website and telephone number. Also an excellent question to draw your readers in.

    1. Hi,

      An appealing central image promotes your product in a convincing way. I also like your description of the swan.

      Keep up the hard work.

    2. We love the advert for the Silver Swan – as Alex says, “It has a charming sparkle!” We are impressed by the drawing of the swan; the eye-catching layout; colourful design and powerful persuasive language.
      Well done!

    1. Hi Sarah,

      What a wonderful advert. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

      I like the way you’ve selected an instrument from the era. Also your layout and slogan work really well.

      Keep up the hard work!

    1. Hi Kadija,

      Congratulations on your advert.

      You use powerful verbs to reinforce your message. It works very well.

      Keep up the hard work.

    1. HI Mansil,

      Thank you for sharing your advert with us. I like your opening command “Buy one”. You also show that the skaters have many uses too.

      Keep up the hard work.

    1. Hi Getou,

      Congratulations on your advert. I think you use rhetorical questions very well. I like you use of alliteration in the last line too.

      Keep up the hard work!

    1. Hi Daisy,

      I think you use rhetorical questions to good effect and I like the way you move between questions and exclamations. I would buy a silver swan if I could afford one.

    1. Abdulrahman, this is fabulous because not only is your work as neat as Daisy’s but it’s also creative and when you wrote”Warning!No brakes!”, it made me laugh

      1. STAR POST

        Well done Tyler.

        Not only have you taken the time to congratulate someone else on their work, we can tell you’ve looked closely at their work because you noticed the joke at the end.

        Thank you for helping and encouraging others.

    2. HI Andulrahman,

      You have created a persuasive advert. I like the way you use rhyme “flashing” and “dashing” and even some exaggeration. Adverts often use exaggeration for effect.

      We hope to see more of your work soon.

    3. hi Abdulrahman wow!

      I really enjoy the joke, and that guy who is blushing and saying wow it is rather funny and it makes an extremely persuasive poster. Also the lat-e is slightly amusing and funny . furthermore, your handwriting, wow it is neat very !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Despite the fact that it is not joined up it is as neat as Daisy ‘s and Idil ‘s.

      so well done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Hi Malik,

      Thank you for sharing your advert with us.

      I like the way you’ve focused on popularity with friends “drool” over your product. This is an effective way to sell products.

      Keep up your hard work!

    1. Hi Idil,

      Like Malik you’ve been clever by linking your product to popularity. It makes a very convincing case why we should buy your product.

      PS.. I like your picture too!

    1. I really like the colours on your picture of the silver swan. However I also love the people looking at the amazing silver swan.As a result the water looks as blue as the sky.

    2. Due to the fact that this fantastic,amazing and splendid work is so detailed and colourful ,I really like it!

    3. Hi Abdirahman,

      I like the range of language you use to describe your swan. You use a list to convey how wonderful the swan is and it works really well.

      Thank you for your hard work. Keep it up!

    1. Hi Ron,

      You’ve taken an original approach to your advert. You’ve made the swan linked to calmness and it will help you to escape busy days. It works very well.

      Congratulations on your work. Keep it up!

  4. I really enjoyed Thomas’ advert.

    He thought really carefully about how to make his writing persuasive and added lots of humerous details. I especially liked the way he made his advert appropriate to the time Merlin would have been working.

    Well done Thomas!

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