Dear all,
We hope you enjoyed Dr Maya Angelou’s poem “Caged Bird”.
Please share your thoughts and responses with us below.
92 thoughts on “Caged Bird”
Comments are closed.
Dear all,
We hope you enjoyed Dr Maya Angelou’s poem “Caged Bird”.
Please share your thoughts and responses with us below.
Comments are closed.
Different worlds
The free bird fly’s over the bright summer’s sky
Stretching its wings in delight
Watching the days roll by
Knowing they will always be right.
But there is a bird who staggers down its dense cage
Never to be free
Watching but never doing
The bird that will never hold the key.
The free bird perches on the tangled branches
Catching the juiciest worms
Living life at its fullest
Because it always live on its terms.
The caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
Feeling its cursed by a demon
But the songt that the caged bird sings can melt the iciest of hearts
For the caged bird dings of freedom
By Ruby Gillespie primary school
Thank you Ruby. I like the exploration of different worlds. Some lovely expressions here too.
Zoo lion
The lion prowls
On the forest ground
And stalks his prey
Till it’s in his jaw
And rules over his land
With a fearful roar
And claims it all for him.
But a lion that lies on the plastic rocks
Being watched
Can’t fight the fight
Or growl the growl
All it can do is live the day and sleep the night
And in the morning it opens its mouth to roar
The zoo lion roars
With a fearful growl
Of things imagined
But longed for still
And the echo is heard
On a distant hill
For the lion roars of freedom
The free lion thinks of another land
And the animals quiet through the bare trees
And the fat buffalo waiting on the barren terrain
And he claims the earth his own
But a zoo lion lies on the tomb of dreams
His mane shouts a desperate scream
His teeth are blunt and his claws are tied
So he opens his jaw to roar
The zoo lion roars
With a fearful growl
Of things imagined
But longed for still
And the echo is heard
On a distant hill
For the zoo lion roars of freedom
Thank you Rita. I like the way you’ve transferred the poem to a consideration of captivity in a zoo. It works really well.
You’ll roar again
The tiger in the forest prowls,
And marks his land,
So everyone knows,
The tiger in the forest owns,
The sea, the land, the sky.
But a tiger that crouches,
In a looming cage,
Seldom thinks,
Of another age,
Where she roars with might,
Roars with rage,
This tiger only knows boundaries.
Yet she keeps on growling,
She knows that it’s wrong,
For her instinct tells her,
That she’s not meant to long,
For a life outside,
Her looming cage,
She’s knows that she’s growling for freedom.
While a naïve tiger,
Lies on his back,
In a glossy forest,
Where nothing lacks,
And waits for his prey,
To walk into his mouth,
For this tiger knows no limits.
But a tiger in a cage,
Just watches,
And knows she’ll never see the face,
Of such a beautiful, lush and glossy forest,
The tiger in the cage, just watches.
Yet she keeps on growling,
She knows that it’s wrong,
For her instinct tells her,
That she’s meant to belong,
To a life outside,
Her looming cage,
So her growling reeks of freedom
Super poem Edie. I like titles that are interesting but make more sense once we’ve read the poem.
A free bird leaps
On the thick tree branches
And floats above the shimmering sea
Until day ends
And dips his wigs
In the deepest of rivers
And dares to claim the winds
But the bird that’s full of envy
Looks down at his metal bars
Can seldom see through
His hope die down
His wings are weak and
His feet are sore
So he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things undiscovered
But long for still
And his tune is heard
On the far away mountain
For the caged bird
Sings of freedom
The free bird thinks of another route to fly
And then glides through the tall trees
And the fat worms waiting on a sunlit lawn
And he names the sky his own
But a caged bird stands on his broken dreams
His shadow shouts of freedom
Never to be heard
His wings are weak and
His feet are sore
So he opens his mouth to sing
The caged bird sings of a fearful trill
Of things undiscovered
But longed for still
And his tune is heard
On the far away mountains
For the caged bird sings of freedom
Thank you Adlan. I like the contrasts you create in your opening lines:
A free bird leaps
On the thick tree branches
And floats above the shimmering sea
The caged bird
A free bird leaps
On the open sky
And floats calmly
Till the day cycle ends
And dips his wings
In the glowing ocean
And dares to claim the feisty sky.
But a bird that cries
Down in his dark narrow cage
Can rarely see through
His cage of terror
His wings are broken
And his wings are tangled
So he opens his throat to sing
Terrifying songs
And sings for all who are afraid
But longed for still
And his tune is heard
By the twisted mountains
For the caged bird
Sings of freedom
The free bird thinks of another land
And the menacing breeze stops through the crying trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
And he names the sky his own
But a caged bird stands on his destroyed dreams
His shadows shout the songs of anger
His wings are broken and his feet are tangled
So he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings
His terrifying songs
And sings for all who are afraid
But longed for still
And his tune is heard
By the twisted mountains
For the caged bird
Sings or freedom
Thank you Hugo. Another well considered poem.
Caged bird
A free bird leaps
On the open sky
And floats calmly
Till the day cycle ends
And dips his wings
In the glowing ocean
And dares to claim the feisty sky.
But a bird that Cry’s
In his dark narrow cage
Can rarely see through
His cage of terror
His wings are broken
His feet are tangled
So he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings
A terrifying song
To all who are afraid
But longed still
To be heard
And his tune
By the twisted mountains
For the caged bird
Sings for freedom.
The free bird thinks of another’s land
And the menacing breeze stops through the crying trees
And the fat worms waiting on the dawn bright lawn
And he names the sky his own.
But the caged bird stands on his destroyed dreams
His shadow shouts with a song of anger
His wings are broken and his feet are tangled
So he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sing
His terrifying songs
And sings for all who are scared
But longed still
And his tune is heard
By the twisted mountains
For the caged bird sings
For freedom
Thank you Jama. Another well structured poem with flashes of images that we are left to ponder.
Rahya
A free bird leaps
on the air
and floats in the sky
till the horizon ends
and dips his wing
in the in the white fluffy clouds
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of anger
his wings are weak and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a sad trill
of things not known
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the wide river
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own
But a caged bird stands on the of burial dreams
his shadow shouts on a bad dream scream
his wings are weak and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the wide river
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
Thank you Rahya. You use Angelou’s structure but make the poem your own with lines like:
“exhausted for the traffic light to flash green
And shivering in your bones-vexed
And pathways to choose”
A free crow leaps
Om the stance of his
Wings, and floats on the
Slash of the wings
Till the water streams
Ends, and dips his
Slash wings
In the washy rays he,
Dares to claim the land.
But a crow that walks without freedom
Can seldom meet
You to his massive wings
Without any freedom anything
But nothing, so he opens his
Mouth sings a better tune.
The crow without freedom
Sings with a trill
Of things you don’t know
But prolongs his trill and his
Tune will be heard, on
The wobbly hill,
The crow without freedom
Sings of fear of death.
But a the free crow thinks
Of another crow
And the confused free crow
Slashed the cage as soon as saw
The crow and then he done
A big BOOM and destroyed
The cage and now the caged
Crow was now a free crow
Thank you Dawud. It’s interesting to see the impact of naming the bird a crow. What other birds might work well in the poem?
The free bird leaps,
On the frothing clouds,
And floats among the day,
He swoops and swoops,
And dips his wings,
In the glissening stream,
Then dares to take others dreams.
But watching him,
With so much ambition,
Wanting to come and join,
Is the caged bird screaming,
Banging on the bars
With his hands and feet tied.
The caged bird would sing,
With a frightful trill,
But what would the free birds do,
They had enough of everything,
But just not enough for you.
They all had enough of being treated unfair,
“What makes us different to you?”
But when they said “well your coloured”
“And there’s nothing you can do”
They thought they were done,
Until Rosa Parks came along,
All she did was give up her seat which the white people thought was wrong
It was like she got picked up with tongs after that,
But I guess that is that.
Not long after the cage fell down,
The bars unwounded,
Rosa Parks thanks to you,
We are no longer blinded .
Great ending Maya. I like the way you’ve included other historical details in your poem.
Caged Bird
A free bird glides,
In the windy sky,
And swims downstream,
Till the river ends,
And dips its feathers,
In the clean blue sea,
And dares to claim the world.
But a bird that stomps,
Trapped in the iron bars,
Can seldom see through,
This horrid cage,
His wings are weak,
His feet are sore,
So he opens his beak to sing.
The caged bird sings,
With a fearful trill,
Of things undiscovered,
But hoped for still,
And his rhythm is heard,
On a faraway hill,
For the caged bird sings,
For freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze,
And then floats through the covered trees,
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn,
So he opens his beak to sing.
The caged bird sings,
With a fearful trill,
Of things undiscovered,
But hoped for still,
And his rhythm is heard,
On a faraway hill,
For the caged bird,
Sings for freedom.
Thank you Nicholas. A well constructed poem that flows throughout.
A free Panda leaps,
On the tallest mountain
And floats upon the clouds.
Till the path ends,
He dips his paw
In the dazzling sunlight,
And dares to claim the sun.
But a Panda that stalks,
Down his narrow cage,
And seldom can barely see through his soul.
His paws are tied and his feet are clipped,
So he opens his throat to sing.
The caged Panda sings with a sorrow trill,
Of things that he deserves,
Bur longed for still.
And his song is heard
On a distant land,
As the caged Panda sings of freedom.
The free Panda thinks of another life,
And the howling among the looming trees,
And fat bamboo waiting on a fire bright lawn,
And names the sky his own.
But the caged Panda stands on a trap for dreams.
And his shadow shouts on a ghostly town.
His wings are tied,
His feet are clipped,
So he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with a sorrow trill,
Of things unknown but longed for still,
As his song is heard in the longest seas,
As the caged Panda sings of freedom.
Thank you. I think it’s interesting to experiment with different creatures in the poem and consider the impact. Why do you think Angelou chose a bird?
The free bird leaps
On free land
And floats without hesitation
Till the end of time
And dips his wing
In the beautiful sunset
And dares to claim the land
But a bird that stalks
Down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through
His furious flames
His wings are down and his feet are up
So he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings with hope and meaning.
The caged bird sings
With a angered trill
Of things desire
But longed for still
And his tune is heard
On the last breathe he has
For the caged bird
Sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of being the caged bird
And how much hope he feels through the trees gale
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
And he names the sky he owns
But caged bird wishes for his dreams to come true
His shadow shouts on cage birds shadow
His wings are free and his feet are rested
So he opens his throat to sing
With a fearful trill
Of things unknown
But large for still
And his tune is heard
By the free bird so the caged bird is free.
The power of the image “furious flames” sets your poem alight. A wonderful image Hector.
A free bird leaps
on the edge of the tree
and floats on the tree
till the fight begins
and dips his wing
in the water
and dares to claim the land,
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his body
his wings are broken and
his feet are hurting
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a worried trill
of things in his future
but longed for still,
and his tune is heard
on the whole world
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another idea
and the freedom through the enormous trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own
But a caged bird stands on the cage for dreams dreams,
his shadow shouts on a high pitch voice
his wings are broke and his feet are hurting
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the whole world
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
Thank you Nathan. Your changes are subtle but make the poem your own.
wish I was free and now I am I
In a cage on a tree-
A bird lays relaxingly-
Wondering when will I be free-
Like those other three-
Soring over the sea who just passed me-
I fell asleep thinking of-
What I would do when –
I’m free like wonder with a family-
And I knew I had a family-
And I was going to find them-
When I was free.
When I the next day came-
I had a plan to get free-
I would swing as hard-
to make the cage fall-
off the tree.
So I did it that but-
I didn’t work so I gave up –
But I heard a snap the branch broke-
and I was going sore and I made my way to my family.
Thank you Grace. I like the way you’ve introduced a speaker into the poem in the form of the “I”. It’s interesting to have the poem told by a bird.
Very good peom
Caged Bird
A loose bird springs,
On the comfortable clouds,
And floats on a mysterious creature,
Till the bars become loose,
And dips its wing,
In the misty clouds,
And dares to claim the forbidden treasure,
But a bird that stalks,
Down his narrow cage,
Can seldom see through,
His sparkling golden sun,
His wings are trapped and,
His feet are tightly wrapped,
So he opens his throught to sing.
The caged bird sings,
With an angry thrill,
Of things that his emotions are like,
But long for still,
And his tune is heard.
On the lean of daybreak,
For the caged bird,
Sings of latitude,
The free bird thinks of getting trapped,
And the bird fits through the greenest trees,
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn,
And he names the clouds his own,
But a caged bird sings,
With a fearful thrill,
Of things confusing,
But longed for still,
And the tune is listened too,
On the lack of the sun,
For the caged bird,
SINGS OF FREEDOM!.
Thank you Star. I’m drawn to your line: “On the lean of daybreak”. Can you explain what you meant by this? It’s a wonderful expression.
CAGED BIRD
A free bird leaps in the air
And flouts with the clouds
till the waterfall and dips his wings in the nice sunny day
and dares to claim the sun.
But a bird that stalks
Down the his narrow cage
Can seldom see through
His chain of anger his wings
Are closed his feet are chained
So he open his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with
A heart breaking trill
Of thing weird but
Longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant
Land for the caged bird
Sing of freedom.
The free bird thinks of
Another gale and refreshing
Winds through the crying tree and the fat worms
Waiting on a down bright lawn
And names the sun his own.
But a caged bird stand on the
Dead dreams his shadow shouts
On a terrible dreams
His wings are
Closed his feet
Are chained so he
Open his throat and sings
With a heart breaking
Trill of things weird
But longed for still
And his tune
Is heard on the distant land
For the caged sings of freedom
Another wonderful opening Femi. You paint a vivid picture with your opening lines.
Caged bird
Free bird leaps
On the leaf
And floats on the rives
Till the day ends
And dips his wing in the sun
And dreams to claim the sky
But a bird that down his narrow cage
Can seldom see thousands
His birds
His wings are chip
His feet were trapped so he opened
So his trout opened to sing
The cage bird sings with a scared
With a scared trill
Of things trapped so for the caged
Bird sings freedom
The free bird thinks of another bird and the pretty through
The kind trees
And the fat worms on a down
Bright laws
And he names the sky his own
But a caged bird sings
With a fearful trill of unknown
But longed of still
And the window of
The caged bird sings
Of freedom .
I like the opening image of the bird on the leaf. There’s something fragile about it that reflects the poem.
A free bird leaps
On the land
And floats trough the sky
Till the day end
And in the blue water
And dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
Down the narrow cage
Can seldom see through
His cage of hopelessness
His wings are broken
His feet are destroyed
So he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings
With a angered trill
Of thing missing
But longed for still
And his tune is herd
On the lonely hill
For the caged bird
Sing for freedom.
The free bird think of another land
And the hatred through the poor tree
And the fat worm waiting on a dawn bright lawn
And his he name the sky his own
But a caged bird stands on the broken dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare
His wings are broken and his feet are destroyed
So he opens his throat to sing
The cage bird sings
With a fearful trill
Of things unknown
But longed for still
And his tune is heard
On the lonely hill
For the caged bird
Sings for freedom.
Lovely poem Amin. I hope you’re very proud of it.
A happy child runs
in the huge park
and plays with his friends
till the long day ends.
He sits down
on a massive swing
and dares to reach the sky.
But a sad child that sits
in his small corner
can seldom get out
of the building.
His legs are bruised
and he’s locked in
so he opens his throat to sing.
The sad child sings
with an anxious trill
of things unlikely
but longed for still.
His tune is heard
through the dark grey walls
for the sad child
sings for freedom.
The happy child thinks of his yummy cake
and the round-about spinning next to him.
Of his unfinished book waiting at home
and he names the park his own.
But the sad child sits far away,
and stares at the wall, day after day.
His legs are bruised and he’s locked in
so he opens his throat to sing.
The sad child sings
with an anxious trill
of things unlikely
but longed for still.
His tune is heard
through the dark grey walls
for the sad child
sings for freedom.
Thank you Giulia. I like the way you’ve transferred Dr Angelou’s concept to young children. It works well.
A free bird leaps
with the dancing wind
and floats in the rain drops
and dips his wing
in the colourful pile of autumn leafs
and dares to climb the trees.
But the bird that stalks
down his small crowded cage
can tightly see through
his face is scared
his stomach growling
so he opens his throat to sing
because its the only hope he thinks.
The caged bird sings
with a worrying tune
of things outside of his doom
but longed after short
and his song is heard
on the top of the hill
for the caged bird
sings for help
A lovely opening Maya with the “dancing wind” and “colourful pile of autumn leafs”.
Caged bird
A lonely boy,
sitting on his own
walks calmly till
nothing surrounds him
and still alone
in the big playground
and dares to claim some friends
But a boy that annoys
and has loads of friends
he thinks he’s the best
his emotion of sadness
has never been seen
The lonely boy talks
but no reply
feeling unknown
and still no reply
but someone answers him…
Thank you Katie. I like the way you’ve altered the poem to focus on a boy. You capture his sense of alienation.
A free bird leaps
on the stream below
and floats all the way downstream
till the sunshine ends
and then dips his wings in darkness.
But a bird that stays
in his narrow thin cage
can hardly see through
what stands in his way
to escape and dissapear into darkness.
So he opens his mouth to sing.
The caged bird sings
of all fearful things
of things that are unknown
the bird is heard from all over the world
and the caged bird sings of freedom.
The free bird hears
and starts to join in.
Both birds sing about how
the caged bird should have freedom.
Thank you Jemima. I like your ending with the two birds singing together. It provides a sense of hope.
Caged bird
A free bird cries for more,
searching for fun,
A free bird is engulfed in greed,
And is green with envy,
However, a caged bird is happy with what it has,
It does not want any more than what it has,
And enjoys what it has,
A caged bird loves,
A free bird is unhappy,
It never enjoys what it has,
A free bird is bossy,
And is unsatisfied with it quality of life ,
However a caged bird is kind,
And is never unhappy,
The caged bird helps people,
He helps people to become happier,
In conclusion, a free bird is greedy,
And the caged bird is more free than the free one because
it is happy.
Interesting poem Neo and certainly unconventional. I guess one could ask is it ok if the caged bird makes others happy but is not happy itself?
A free bird leaps
on the trees
and floats on the water till the stream end and dips his wing
into the clouds and dares to claime the sky
but a bird that stalks down his narrow cage can see through his
bars of rage his wings are short and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing
the caged bird sings
with a raged trill of things people do not know
but longed for still and his tune is herd on the far
mountains beyond for the caged bird sings for freedom.
The bird thinks of another world
and the wind going past the trees
the end
caged bird
A free bird leaps on the wet grass and floats carmly,
till the day ends and dips its wings into the ocean-blue,
and dares to clam the trees.
but a bird that stalks down his narrow cage,
till seldom see through his bars of sorrow,
his wings are clipped,
and his feet are attached so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with a hopefull trill of things,
he loved but longed for freedom,
fro his tune is heard from time to time,
for the caged bird sings for freedom.
The free bird thinks of another bird,
that would fly with him through the forest.
Thank you Daliah. I like your ending. There’s something about being able to imagine that we link with freedom.
A free group of seagulls playing
on the warm sand
Swerving through the sky together
killing fish to feast on
when there is a special seagull
witch has light hazel brown patches
all over its body
it jumps up tapping its feet
and flapping its wings
getting the other seagulls attention
the other seagulls laughing loudly
flying away into the distance
the seagull slowly walks away
and hides away under a massive rock
cooing his favourite song .
A remarkable poem Sibora. What was the inspiration for this. The opening of your poem conveys the movement of the seagulls. May I suggest you consider using verses as your poem will be even more powerful.
A free bird leaps on a well, made nest
and flouts on the air till the wind dies down
and dips his wing in the crystal blue water and
dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of dispear his feet
are part of the cage so he opens his throut to sing.
The caged bird sings with a scared trill of things
unbelived but longed for still and his tune is heard
on the faraway tree for the caged bird sings for freedom.
The free bird things of another breeze and the quick soft
winds through the whisiling trees and the fat worms
waiting dawn bright lawn and he names the sky his
own.
Fantastic opening Niccolo. The “crystal blue water” conjures up a vivid image.
A caged bird leaps,
On a light and cold breeze,
It squaks and cries in laughter,
But caged bird watches,
Longs for freedom, Tied and clipped.
Trapped and tortured,
Longs to feel a breeze.
The free enjoys a worm sun,
She makes a nest, watches her chicks grow,
Thrive and play, be free in the light of the sun.
But the caged bird is isolated.
Always alone with an empty nest,
Suffering with pain.
The free bird tilts toward the bird cage,
A croak of sorrow escapes it beak,
But it turns toward the sun.
Lovely poem Tristan and a very powerful ending. I find the penultimate line very moving.
I am looking through a window,
sitting quietly in the dark.
I see people running,
laughing,
and having fun.
I am looking through a window,
sitting wistfully in the dark.
How I wish I could play,
mess about and laugh.
I see people play,
giggle
and have lots of fun,
as light hits the grassy ground they are on.
I am looking through a window.
A window down to earth.
Where people play,
laugh,
run,
and learn.
I see people play,
I see them have fun.
But I can not have that,
for I am the sun.
Great poem Poppy. I like the way you’ve changed the speaker of the poem and therefore the reader’s perspective. We’re now seeing the poem from the speaker’s perspective. An excellent twist in the end too.
LIFE AS WEATHER
I’ll tell you
Life for me ain’t been no
Stormy day
It had sun
And overcast
And clouds
Raging lightning
And sometimes going in
Storms when there ain’t been no sun
So don’t turn from the storm
Don’t you fall
Carry on till the sun
Appears again
Life for me ain’t been no stormy day
-Georgia, (Prior Weston,Tower Yr 6)
Thank you Georgia. It’s encouraging to see you using line breaks to such good effect.
AUTUMN SEASONS
Life is similar the four seasons,
The first season, of snow, Winter,
The snow is cold-hearted people entering your life,
Then Spring comes after the snow,
There is rain to help beautiful plants grow,
Finally, after all the tears there is Summer, the heat season,
A ray of sunshine comes into your life and the plants finally sprout,
The final season, Autumn,
The leaves go from green, to orange,
They crash down to the floor,
It creates more room for even better leaves in then next season, Spring,
Afterwards,
It all starts again,
It just gets better.
-Freya (Prior Weston, Tower, Year Six).
Thank you Freya. Exploring the seasons gives you poem a defined structure and progression.
Life is a football match
Life is a football match when someone shoots your worried when you score your cheering with happiness
When someone tackles you get enraged When a
Goalkeeper saves it you get miserable when you lose
Your vexed when you win your ecstatic sometimes you win sometimes you don’t but always you’ll have a nice game
Life is a football match.
Thank you Albert. Yes we experience many different emotions during football games just as we do in life.
Life is a Rubber
Life is a rubber.
The mistakes, drawings, and writing
You rub out,
But a faint outline is still there,
To remind you that there are things that you will never truly get rid of.
With life,
There are memories you want to remove,
But it’s not gone.
Start a new page,
And begin again.
More mistakes will appear,
More drawings will appear,
Some bad, you rub out,
Some good, you keep.
In life, there’s memories
You don’t want.
Forget about it for now and move on.
The memories you like,
Save them and treasure them.
On a piece of paper,
There are blank parts to fill.
New writing or drawings to put in.
Ahead of you in life, there are
More roads to take,
And journeys to create.
Lydia
Prior Weston Primary School
An original idea, very well executed. I think the metaphor of life a rubber but one that leads a faint mark is a brilliant one. The faint mark could be memories?
Life is a hot air balloon
Floating in the sunny blue sky
High and low moving along
When it wobbles it will keep trying to stay afloat
Flowing smoothly for people’s pleasure
Let your worries be set free and keep calm
Floating in the sunny blue sky
Ups and downs
Floating along
High up in the dusty and fluffy clouds
Peaceful and silent way high up
Floating along
Floating in the sunny blue sky
From light till dark
Peaceful and quiet
Let your worries be free
High and low moving along
By Elsie
Prior Weston Primary School Yr6
Thank you Elsie. Your poem creates a tranquil tone with the image of a hot balloon floating along through different times and conditions.
Life is a staircase
Sometimes it will go up
Sometimes it will go down
Unpredictable what you will get
At times there could be thorns
And others there could be diamonds
Cracks in the stairs
And spiraling stairs
Going round and round
But don’t you you go down
Just cuz you can’t take it anymore
Cuz i’m still climbing up
And i’m not going down
So come up with me
Carry on with me
Because that’s called the greater good
And that’s what we should be doing.
By Ivy
Prior Weston Primary school Yr6
Thank you Ivy. I like the way you’ve made the poem your own but maintained the voice of the poem.
Life Is A Roller Coaster
As soon as you go on a roller coaster your unflustered. Then u go down you’re joyful.When it stops your frightened.It carries on your relieved after that you calm
Thank you Nehemiah. This is an encouraging start. Try to use line breaks to structure your poem and it will read even better.
Life is Weather.
It changes all the time.
When it rains cats and dogs you may be sad.
When it is thunder and lightning you could be infuriated.
When the sun shines you should be elated.
When you feel the cold wind you might feel lonely.
When you see the dark you feel scared.
When you see the glistening stars you feel exhausted.
Then your eyes shut.
After you dream about the good (and some bad things) and after that you catch some sleep.
Life is weather.
Joe Prior Weston
Thank you Joe. Yes life is changeable like the weather.
Waterfall
Life is like a waterfall when the water gushes over
it’s my tears .
when it stops flowing that is my sadness ending.
The waterfall is like emotions just slowly coming to your delicate self.
Thank you Dalya. It’s a great skill to create a moving poem but you’ve attended it here. I think it’s in part down to the inclusion of “my tears” which makes us emote with the speaker.
LIFE IS A SKY DROP
Life is an unpredictable Sky Drop
coming up out of the blue ,
not knowing when your going to stop at top
or knowing to look down or not…
hands juddering and you screeching
and your heart thumping
when you terminate at the top your visualizing
whats going to happen to you next…
rapidly the sky drop dips .
in terror your traumatized .
prior weston primary school year 6
Thank you Sahara. Some lovely expression here, you bring a real sense of urgency to your poem. I like the idea of a sky drop but I’m not sure I understand what it is. Can you explain more?
Life Is A Windmill
Life is a windmill
Fast but slow the way it spins
Similar to life rapid and sluggish
It can never stop spinning the way it moves
When rain comes
The windmill has stopped
The windmill has awoken
The spirit is alive!
The crimson windmill glistened,
As the sun rose slowly,
The windmill light,
Is ever so bright!
As soon as it stops,
Life has stopped.
As the tree birds sing…
And gently perches,
On the crimson windmill,
Fly little bird fly!
And we will come across you!
All again..
Tower Year 6 Prior Weston
Thank you Sumiya. The windmill metaphor works well and reflects the changes in pace we experience in life.
LIFE IS A BRICK WALL
Life is a brick wall.
Whenever the brick wall stays stable
Exciting things happen.
But when the brick wall collapse
Bad things enter.
When the brick wall falls to the ground,
A great evil comes to haunt the edges.
It’s also known as misery.
It effects everything beyond the wall of life.
Once the wall has broke it can be rebuilt.
There is always an solution.
As once said..
Life is a brick wall.
prior weston primary school year 6
Thank you William. I believe you have a very promising poem here. The metaphor of a wall works well and you have some interesting ideas. You also seem to be expanding your figurative language by including misery.
Life is a Roller Coaster
Life is a roller coaster,
there may be ups and downs,
but you never know when you’re going to drop
and you never know when you’re going to stop.
Life is fun.
Life is surprising,
It may be dark but it isn’t boring
Life is a roller coaster.
(By Almire Abdurehim).
Thank you for sharing your poem Almire. Comparing life to a roller coaster works well.
Ever growing trees
Life is an ever growing tree,
Your branches may get tangled up,
You may grow with a fence in your way,
You’ll just have to grow around it.
sometimes people need you,
For shelter in the rain,
Some people chop you,
Branch by branch,
You may feel downcast,
But you must carry on!
You may have ten thousand words to say,
For those who get in your way,
Yet you have no way to say it.
Occasionally some ,not most, fall,
They hurt others along with themselves,
Sometimes they grow in a peculiar way,
None of them are perfect you know.
Sometimes you must help others,
Other times you have to help yourself,
Many help animals with their homes,
Birds take twigs to make their nests,
Rabbits, hedgehogs and even worms,
Burry holes within your roots.
You help animals,
You help people,
However they never help you,
Life is an ever growing tree.
(By : Toqzhan kellett)
Thank you for sharing your poem Toqzhan. You’ve clearly spent a lot of time on it and it shows. I think your extended metaphor of life as tree works very well.
Life is a game at the fair
Life is a game at the fair
Hoping to Win
And not to Loose
If you win you’re happy
If you loose you’re sad
Good Times
Bad Times
Sad Times
Times that bring you Down
And others bring you Up
UNPREDICTABLE
Hugely exciting
Hoping to WIN
Fearing to LOOSE
So my friend don’t be sad
You’re turn will come soon
And you shall start
AGAIN
Thank you Alejandro. I like the way you’re poem has a twist half-way through and a change of tone.
Life is driving a car
When you drive a car it is life
When you are moving things are going marvelously
When you stop there is a problem
Things will happen until you finish your journey.
A good start Lucas. Perhaps you could develop this poem?
Thursday 22nd October 2020
Poem: Caged bird
There are many different possible meanings of this poem but I can tell it is one big extended metaphor and the birds are not really birds,they are people. I also think there is a bit of injustice because the free bird passes by the caged bird which is jealous of its freedom and the only worries the bird has is the biggest worm its going to eat.I also think that it resilient because it is tied up but i still sings which shoes it still has freedom.
Thank you Kalai. I can see you appreciate the symbolic elements of the poem.