Dear all,
Thank you once again for your hard work last week. I’m glad you enjoyed Causley’s poem “My Mother saw a Dancing Bear”. It seemed to stir up strong feelings. There were some fantastic poems shared last week. Some special mentions to:
Selma (Remember to name your school in your posts) captured the tone of the Causley poem with her own ending:
They paid a penny for the dance
But what they saw was desperate sadness
With grey eyes like a hurricane in motion
And a pool of mournful melancholy
Henry Brett uses alliteration to enforce the sorrowful tone of the poem in his third line:
They paid a penny for the dance
But what they saw was a depresses scared
bear with bloodshot eyes
Starving to death begging for some food
Marcel of Duncombe showed creativity by considering what would happen if we changed the voice of the poem and ended with a first person speaker:
Ella of Gillespie led the debate on the issue of using bears for entertainment. Look at how she develops her argument in detail:
I’m against such an idea of training bears as it is not like training a dog or cat as they are bred by humans. Bears are naturally scared of humans and when I went to Canada a girl I met was chased by a bear because it was brought up near humans so it wasn’t afraid of them and it usually would run away so it would have been a bad idea to train it and it would be capable of more power. It is also unfair on the bear as it could not run away because it wouldn’t know how to feed itself and take care of himself. You may think that it looked like it was enjoying itself but it was just being trained to do that and I strongly disagree.
Sometimes we don’t have answers but further questions. It’s encouraging to see Mustafa still considering:
I want to ask you a question : why do you think the author wrote the poem as a story first?
Can you answer his question?
I hope you enjoy “In Flanders Fields”. You’ve got 2 more poems after Week 3 and then you’ll work on your own entry for the poetry competition. Could you be the next FutureZone Poet Laureate?
Check out the previous winners and see what techniques they used to be successful. Toby Kaye reviewed last year’s winner Aaina Siddique from Duncombe School and commented:
“Their eyes met” was really nice because you used one syllable for each line.
Keep up the hard work.
Michael.
Flanders fields make me feel depressed.
It made me realize that all these people gave their lives for us, to make sure we were safe and not threatened. It gave me shivers and it just stopped me. It made me really think.
It made me think about family and about their family. I wondered about how their families felt. I guess it’s kind of hard to think that all these people died and not just 10 people but thousands and thousands of people.
I like this poem because it makes me feel proud. Proud of the people who fought for our rights. I say thank you.
Maya and Muwahip of Ambler responded to the dead and reassured them through the following stanza:
We shall remember you,
we have held up the torch
We know that you were dead days ago
But, we held up to make you have faith in us,
You have done more than we did
and we have to make that change.
Look at how Leticia and Suhayb from Ambler use details from the original poem to inform their own response:
In Flanders Fields,
Where the poppies grow,
And the Dead lie,
The poppies shall be worn,
To remember you by,
For we have caught your torch,
And will carry it bravely, wherever we go,
Francis from Hanover adopts a determined tone in response to the Dead:
We’ll never surrender,
We’ll take your place
In the fight
We’ll make you worth dying for
In the night in Flanders Fields
We’ll flatten them , wipe them out
Until they shout the two words no one wants to say
In Flanders Fields hip hip hooray!
Nathan H from Hanover was inspired to create a complete poem in response:
Crosses fill the Flanders Fields,
And Larks are in the air.
We will remember you,
No matter what.
We’ll just try annd make it fair . . .
The ammo flies,
But the Larks wont die,
Just soldiers are gone,
The angels all cry.
How many more dreadful years are to come?
It doesn’t matter, nothing matters,
We’ll make your passing meaningfull.
And never, EVER run!
We died for you,
Now we cry for you.
Now, there’s a hole in my life . . .
As we’ve highlighted before it’s helpful when we get feedback from others. Look at this example from Kathryn from Hanover to Nathan which highlights what she thinks works well:
Nate, this is a really lovely thoughtful response. I particularly like how you included rhyme without making the rhyming silly. I look forward to seeing more of your poetry.
Reece from Duncombe showed you can capture a feeling (desperation?) in only 4 lines and look at his memorable title:
The essence of fear
In the muddy trenches people
stare hopelessly at their friends
and think when will I die
amongst the poppy’s on Flanders field.
while Fidel from Duncombe provides a sense of mystery:
Poppies in Flanders Field
As the poppies grow
the larks still bravely sings
against the mark in the sky
Finally Baris and Karya from Rotherfield leave us with this question:
In Flanders Fields
This poem is very emotional and depressing, due to the fact that large amounts of innocent people died. If this war didn’t occur poppy’s wouldn’t have been such a ‘well known’ flower.How would you feel if all of your loved ones died?
Thank you all for your hard work so far. We look forward to reading your responses to and poetry inspired by Langston Hughes.