Congratulations to the three pupils who were shortlisted:
Matilda 5D Yerbury school
Farida, Pakeman Primary, Year Six
George, Ambler Primary School
It is a great achievement to be shortlisted. If you weren’t shortlisted don’t be disappointed but rather be proud of your efforts and keep on writing.
Piers Torday decided George from Ambler is the winner and commented:
I was struck by George’s ability to not only deftly repurporse some of the story starter but turn it into a complete story, full of plot and adventure, with a brilliantly imaginative interpretation of the mysterious note. The simple, clean but effective prose lends the piece a classic fairytale quality, although it is studded throughout with memorable, original detail, such as “All the trees seemed to have faces but they looked asleep”. The portal into another world, the transformation of the children into a toy panther and phoenix, the corn doll’s castle – all these ideas are logical yet highly imaginative extensions of the original idea, which have echoes of C S Lewis, Frank L Baum and Norton Juster amongst other great fantasy writers. Even if George has not read their work, he has picked up on their resonances and tropes which they inherited from classical literature and folklore, now in turn echoed by many talented contemporary writers, including himself.
George wins a signed copy of There May Be A Castle.
Story Starter
It was while they were exploring the old house that Rafi and Simone found the suitcase, stuffed into the back of an cupboard.
“This looks old,” said Rafi, trying to find a way to open the lock.
“There’s something inside,” said Simone. “It rattles when you move it.”
They laid the case down on the floor, and eventually Simon discovered that if you pressed the clasp softly, the suitcase clicked open, the lid rising into the air. A sudden cloud of dust made the children cough, but once they had waved it away with, they saw what was inside. There were three very old looking toys, lying on a bed of crumpled tissue paper. A clockwork bird, with a key sticking out of the back. A tin soldier, with a brightly painted uniform, beginning to rust. And a funny old doll, made of corn tied together with ribbon.
“Hey!” said Rafi. “Someone’s left a note on top.”
It was as old as the suitcase, if not older. In spidery ink, on yellowing parchment, it read:
Touch one, just for fun.
Touch two, that will change you.
Touch three, to come and see me.
“Who do you think wrote that?” said Simone.
“What shall we do?” said Rafi.
They will take it to their house they all touch it and they die
“I think we should keep it and leave this creepy place.” stated Simone.”We should have just left our ball in here.”It was to late that had touched all three toys.The first toy the played with was fun, second it changed them and last they had seen nothing imaginable it was the man that had left these toy.He had left all these toys for all these years so kids can bring him alive from the dead.
Thank you for your entry. Could you let me know your name?
(By Matilda 5D Yerbury school)
Here is my entry to the story competition:
“What shall we do?” asked Rafi.
“Touch them?!” replied Simone sarcastically.
“How many shall we touch? Actually, I’m not sure I want to touch any of them, to be honest. I mean, how many years have they been in that suitcase?” asked Rafi, looking nervous.
The toys were old and fingered, like others had touched them before. The soldier looked long past its years of prime. The doll – if it was possible – looked older than the other two toys. The clockwork bird was least fortunate, though, and was stuck mid-cuckoo, like a freeze frame. However, they also looked elaborate, like they had been made for a very special occasion. The features of each toy were embellished with careful detail. It was clear to Rafi and Simone that these three toys must have taken an extremely long time to make.
How they had ended up in a suitcase in Simone and Rafi’s parents’ attic, they did not know. Simone was the spit of their mother, Rafi their father. Simone and Rafi were twins, although Rafi felt as though he was just a slightly different reflection of Simone, rather than her twin.
So many questions blurred Simone’s thoughts. Who made these toys? Who wrote the note? Were they the same person, or had her parents randomly shoved a suitcase with some antiques and bit of paper to the back of the attic? Simone thought this would be such a coincidence, that she pushed the thought out of her mind and replied to Rafi.
“Who knows?” said Simone, once she was out of her trance.
Rafi and Simone pondered whether they should open the case or not. Rafi thought not: he had always been on the safe side. Simone, on the other hand, was always looking for an adventure.
“Lets touch them,” pleaded Simone. Then with a mischievous grin she added, “All of them.”
Rafi thought this was a terrible idea.
“Simone, did you not read the note? Touch three, to come and see me. We can’t. What if we get stuck ‘seeing’ this person. Who are they? WHAT are they? No, Simone, no.”
“You mean yes. Don’t be such a fun sponge,” replied Simone. “If you don’t touch them, it will NOT stop me.”
Rafi sighed. There was no way he could convince Simone that this was a bad idea: she had decided she would touch all three, and that was that.
Cautiously, Simone held her hand towards the suitcase. She touched all three toys. For a moment, nothing happened. Suddenly, a bright flash filled the room, and Simone was gone. Rafi was awe-struck. He hadn’t ACTUALLY believed that the toys would make this happen. He thought it was just a funny treasure hunt their parents had given them.
Thinking that this was the only thing he could do, Rafi touched the three toys. He screamed as he went flying through the air. When he finally got over his shock, Rafi saw Simone next to him.
“Um,” started Simone. “Look.”
Rafi did.
A figure was towering over him.
“So, you have chosen to see me. Often people choose the choice you have chosen. I have a challenge for you. It is simple, really. Just an obstacle course. Most others do it easily. Who wants go first?” asked a woman’s voice.
Rafi and Simone shared a glance.
“Er, who is ‘others’?” asked Rafi.
“Oh, you know, people.” the mysterious lady said, waving her hand dismissively.
“So, people come from OUR house to HERE?” asked Simone, astonished.
“Of course. You’re not the first young people here. Oh no, definitely not. Anyway, I asked you, WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?”
“Me,” Rafi piped up. He felt unusually brave.
“Ok, come with me.” said The Mystery. Rafi had decided to call the lady ‘The Mystery’. He felt it suited her well.
Rafi looked on in horror as a series of walls and bricks formed around him.
“All you have to do is this,” said The Mystery, gesturing toward the obstacle course. “In the time of one minute.” added The Mystery.
After a minute of hard work, Rafi felt as if his lungs would burst. But there was no time for that. He was transported back to the attic in a matter of seconds. He looked around for Simone, but he could not see her anywhere.
‘Honestly’, ‘Ugh’, and ‘Blaugh’, were Simone’s words. She didn’t want to do this stupid obstacle course.
“You have no choice in the matter.”
Simone jumped. The Mystery had just read her mind.
Cautiously, Simone stood in the same place Rafi had. The Mystery said go, and Simone jumped into action. After what seemed like hours, Simone thought she was done. But no. A flurry of lasers appeared in front Simone’s face. Quick to react, Simone slid under the lasers and pressed her clammy palm against the end button. Relived it was over, Simone collapsed on the floor, only to see Rafi standing over her. Simone had been so breathless she hadn’t noticed the transportation from the mysterious place to the new comfort of her attic. Rafi had been wringing his hands, fearing Simone may not make it.
Though, of course she had.
“Lets do that again!” breathed Simone.
“Not!” laughed Rafi.
Thank you Matilda.
You wrote a lot.
very good everybody
Here is my story for the competition. Sorry it is 9 pages.
WELCOME HOME
As he said that Rafi stumbled forward and touched all three of the toys.
“Help!” He shouted but he disappeared into the suitcase. Simone looked down but there was just the bottom of the suitcase.
“Rafi, are you there?” Simone called down the suitcase, but only the toys stared up at him. “Oh no.” He whispered. The note was still there but when he looked at it the spidery handwriting had gone and was replaced by a scribbly, messy note that said;
To help your friend,
You must reach the end,
To find your prize,
I must arise.
Simone stood there gaping at the three dolls that took his friend. ‘Were they dangerous? Did they speak? Could they kill?’ Thousands of thoughts echoed through his dazed head. Too many thoughts were in his head, so many that he fainted right onto the toys. His dark, curly hair swaying in the ferocious wind. Then gone. Only the mysterious suitcase and the scribbled note were left of children’s lives. Then the old scrap of parchment and the suitcase vanished and with it the boys lives.
20 Years later
When Phoebe and her brother Archie were going to the old ruins of the ancient town where two boys went missing she noticed something was off. The previous village was not how everyone had said it was, lovely, and many bakeries. No this place was vile and haunted, where young kids went missing.
“Err Archie can we go now?” She stammered as they passed an old bike repair shop with an old suitcase in.
“No way, we just started, hang on you’re scared aren’t you?” He said smirking at her.
“No it’s just… It feels wrong here.”
“So you’re scared.” He said running off into the bike shop.
“Wait! Archie we’re not meant to go in there!” She shouted but followed him anyway. “Please not in there it’s creepy!” He just ignored her and opened the door. Both of them could not help coughing. The dust was everywhere, up their noses, inside their mouths, in their eyes.
“Yuck, this is not what I expected…” Archie said disapprovingly. Looking at Phoebe he knew she felt the same but she couldn’t talk because now he saw what the bike shop looked like. Thousands of multi-coloured bikes stood on stands and made the room look like a pot of glitter. “See I told you it would be fun. He finished pointing at her in a smug way.
“You never told me so I just didn’t want to go in there.” Phoebe said disapprovingly, and pointed to the old suitcase. “Look at that. It looks like Georgians could have used it.” She reached out to touch it when Archie slapped her. “Hey why did you do that?!” She shouted.
“Are you stupid!?” Archie said “One minute you’re scared because of some missing kids and then you’re about to end up like one of them.” He shouted back.
“What are you talking about?” Phoebe asked astonished.
“The tale of the missing kids, they found a suitcase and, bang they’re gone.” He announced taking a bike and throwing it at the suitcase but it missed by miles.
“I thought that was just a myth that parents made up to keep kids off their stuff.” Phoebe said confused. And then a chanting noise started, quiet at first but constantly growing in sound.
Touch one, just for fun
Touch two that will change you
Touch three, to come and see me
They both shivered and the chanting carried on until it came to an abrupt stop.
“What was that?” Archie asked bewildered but Phoebe could not answer for she didn’t know herself so instead she pointed and said, “It can’t be.” A piece of parchment that looked as old as time floated down and landed by their feet.
“Don’t pick it up Archie! DON’T!” Phoebe screamed but it was too late. Archie had picked up the note.
“Touch one just for fun…” He wondered out loud. “It says just for fun so it can’t hurt us. We’ll get to see if this was just a prank or not, so I’m going to touch one.” He stated even though Phoebe was screaming at him not to. His pale hand reached out to open the suitcase just as one tanned hand had before. He clipped open the leather case and inside was the three toys sitting just as they were before. “Oh Phoebe shut up, it says just for fun.” He didn’t hesitate and touched the biggest toy, the tin soldier and it rattled, dust flying everywhere. The chanting started again but this time much louder and repeating the same line over and over again.
Touch one just for fun,
Touch one just for fun,
Soon your friends will be done.
“What did you do?!!” Phoebe asked and the tin soldier started moving and chanting;
Just for fun, just for fun,
You will soon be done.
“RUN!!!!!” Archie screamed. They sprinted to the door but there was no door. “B…But there was a door here.” Archie stammered and Phoebe held her breath as the tin soldier advanced towards them.
“Touch one just for fun, just for fun. Touch two, touch two.” It spoke as its painted legs came closer. “Touch two.”
“Archie it wants us to touch another one!” Phoebe screamed.
“But the paper said it’ll change us! I won’t!” Archie said, dust spinning around their heads. “Did you hear me? Hey toy I won’t!”
“Do it!! Just do it!!” Phoebe cried knowing he wouldn’t. “Fine! I will!” And she ran to the suitcase.
“What are you doing?!” He screamed his voice going hoarse. It wasn’t enough. Phoebe’s fear came out and she touched the clockwork bird. “No!” He cried but it had sprung to life.
Touch two that will change you,
Touch two that will change you,
The clockwork bird screeched and Phoebe thought her ears would pop.
“What have I done?” Phoebe whispered and shook her head, “I’m so sorry Archie it just happened. I don’t know what came over me.”
Touch two, touch two,
The mad bird screeched.
Change you, change you.
A whirlwind of dust spread over them and all that they could hear change you over and over again.
“Help!! Phoebe are you there?” Archie called out but it hardly came out of his mouth before the wind of dust sucked it up. Just as suddenly as it came the whirlwind vanished and Archie looked out for his sister. “Phoebe? “He said looking around for her but he couldn’t see her anywhere. He only saw… It couldn’t be, Himself?
“Archie, wait who are you? You look exactly like me.” Phoebe inquired her eyes darting around for her twin brother.
“I’m here.” Archie said looking down and seeing his sister’s grey skirt and sparkly shoes.
“Archie is that you? You look like me.” Then she looked to the floor and saw a pair of jeans and shoes. “B…But I’m you.”
“That’s what they meant when they said it will change you!” Archie exclaimed but the toys were still advancing quicker than before towards them.
Touch three, touch three,
To see, to see,
“To see what?” Phoebe asked but stopped not going to let another creature come to life. “Don’t let them trick you Archie”
“I wasn’t planning to.” He replied looking around for some kind of weapon but all he could see were bikes and screws which wouldn’t help. “Phoebe can you see anything that will help?”
Touch three, to come and see me
Touch three, touch three
“No I can’t see anything! I don’t want to see him!!” Phoebe screamed as the bird came closer to her. She looked around to Archie who was trying to hit the tin soldier with the handle of a bike. As she grabbed one to, the clockwork bird picked up a hammer and continued the chant.
Touch three, touch three,
To come and see me,
See me, see me
“It’s found a weapon! Archie what do I do?” He looked back at his sister and saw what she was talking about the clockwork bird did have a hammer and was advancing quickly. The tin toy was still coming ever closer with a tin sword that did not look like tin and more like metal.
“Phoebe all we can do is touch the final toy. We are going to touch the toy anyway but if we do it by ourselves we won’t get hurt.” Phoebe looked at the final toy then at the bird coming ever closer.
“Okay I will.” And just by saying that the chanting stopped, the dust cleared and the toys fell still. “Archie,” she continued “I think we have to.” Archie thought the same, for the door was still not there. He reached out to touch the corn doll and when he felt the rough material the yellow ribbon flew of showing a key.
“Archie don’t touch the key!!!” The patterns on the key were mesmerising and strung their way through Archie’s brain. “ARCHIE!!!!” She screamed but the key was in his hand. His palm pressed into the stone cold swirls etched onto the key’s surface. ‘A thousand secrets could be in my hand’ he thought turning the key into the lock. “ARCHIE!!!!” Phoebe screamed though her brother seemed to ignore her. Then he said, “Oh god what did I just do?” The key that was in the lock disappeared and the suitcase grew and grew towering over their heads.
“WHAT THE…” Phoebe started but got cut off when the creatures started their chant.
Touch three to come and see me,
To see, to see,
Then their chant stopped and started with something new. The old piece of parchment blew up into flames and reappeared with scribbled, red writing. To help your friend, you must reach the end, to find your prize I must arise.
“To help your friend you must reach the end, to find the prize I must arise.” Archie read aloud. “Who is our friend?” Phoebe asked, “We don’t know anyone that has gone missing.”
“But we do!! The two children!” Archie said but the suitcase leaned over and swallowed them. The children’s stomachs swirled around in their bodies and their chocolate-brown hairs swished around like leafs in the wind. The dark surroundings suddenly changed and they were in a cave-like place with glowing lanterns hung on every shelf.
“Hello, is anybody there?” Phoebe called out, turning to her twin. He was in his body again and she was in hers. The barren place was full of meatal wheels and spinners.
“Well, well, well.” A cold voice rang out from nowhere. “Look what we have here.”
“W… Where are you?” Archie’s voice quivered and his body shook. There was no answer. “I said, where are you?” His voice was stronger now and he looked around in search of the voice. Seven monstrous dolls looked at them with 14 hideous eyes and took their arms in theirs.
“Hey, get off me!” Archie shouted and tugged away from their arms but the grip on them was solid as if they had melted on the children. The dolls lead them away from the entrance and when they looked back they saw that the way out had disappeared and only a wall was left.
“How are we meant to get out of here?” Phoebe asked her voice was shaking as she realized the answer. One of the dolls pierced her with a glare that seemed to last forever.
“Way out. Ha-ha there is no way out.” And all the other creatures started laughing too. Their groaning chuckling carried on for the rest of the walk which was made longer by the slowness of the dolls. It was like they were doing it on purpose. When they finally reached the end of the tunnel, what they saw struck them. Hundreds of children, some looking like old ladies and men in children form, were working. Turning wheels and smashing hammers into the rock. As they carried on they saw different jobs. Many of the children were doing mining, or what it looked like, though a handful of kids were oiling and turning a machine.
“D…Do we have to do that?” Phoebe asked worried thoughts were rushing in her brain and she tried to stop thinking about them but more just came into her head. As they were passing children two caught Archie’s eye. They looked quite modern, unlike some children who Archie thought looked like chimney sweeps. One of the boys he was looking at wore red shorts with his green jumper tied around his waist. As he looked closer at the jumper he saw a label saying, Rafi Surina. The other boy was around the same age and also wore the same style as Rafi. He was wearing blue shorts and a red checked top. Archie looked closely at the other boy but nothing he wore showed his name.
“Here you will work.” One of the dolls cackled and they all walked of.
“Look.” Archie told his twin, “Those two boys.” Phoebe looked and saw them and walked over.
“Hi, I’m Phoebe how long have you been down here?” The boys looked at them and the one called Rafi said, “Hey dude I’m Rafi, I don’t think I’ve been down here for long. 2 weeks maybe,” he finished then his friend added, “I’m Simone and what happened to your clothes?” Archie and Phoebe worriedly looked at each other.
“What year do you think it is Simone?” Phoebe asked swallowing hard.
“It’s 1995 as if it would be anything else.” Simone answered with a smirk, “Why do you dudes ask?”
“Hate to tell you this but it’s now 2020.” Archie said in a quiet voice hoping he wouldn’t hear.
“So we have been down here in this dump for 20 years? As if.” Rafi said then noticed Phoebe and Archie’s solemn faces. “It’s true isn’t it?” He turned around and carried on twisting the wheel.
“Hey new freaks!” A rubber duck shouted “Get to work!” Archie and Phoebe immediately turned to face the wall and spun a wheel. A young girl in a pale blue frock passed them and asked, “Excuse me but I am not amused.” This took Archie by surprise and replied, “Sorry what do you mean?”
“Your suit looks like you have been up chimneys.” Phoebe turned around and said, “So sorry but who do you think is ruling and what year is it?” The small girl looked perplexed and held her nose.
“Why are you stupid? Her Royal Highness Queen Victoria is on the throne and the year is 1892.” Her haughty nose was held high and she trotted off.
“There are people here from the 18th century!” Archie said and phoebe added “How are they not dead?” Rafi overheard the conversation so he said, “That’s Ada she thinks it’s 1892. There is the master who says if we promise to work for him then we will live forever.” A wooden rabbit hopped over to them.
“Come this way. The master wants to see you. Do not touch me EVER. Do you understand?”
“Yes we do.” Phoebe said and followed the strange sight of a walking, wooden toy. After a while it stopped and vanished.
“Where did it go?” Archie asked and heard it speak back.
“I’m still here you know. Just walk into the light.” And as they looked they saw a small patch of light and Archie went first. Phoebe followed. The light went out and they had been sucked into a hole. Their heads span and their dark hair whipped their faces. They opened their eyes to see a damp room filled with rocks. At the end of the long cave there was a large door but as soon as they looked at the door it went. They could only see it from the corners of their eyes.
“So you are the new additions.” A cold voice rang out of nowhere, “You will have to work for me. If you do I will keep you alive, forever. If you refuse I will turn you into an ornament to go on my shelf. You decide yes or no?” A cold wind swallowed them.
“YES! I SAY YES!” Archie shouted and the mist dropped him.
“OKAY! YES!” Phoebe copied. The wind dropped her to.
“Be gone with you.” And they suddenly appeared back next to the wheels and cogs.
“Was that the master?” Phoebe asked. “We didn’t see anyone.”
Simone shrugged and said, “That dude won’t let anyone near his face man.” But Phoebe didn’t give up. When she thought no one was looking she whispered to Archie to come and he followed her. They snuck around the caves and hid behind cogs until they found the light patch. They fell down it and came back to the tunnel.
“WHO DARES ENTER MY CAVE?!!” A booming voice rang out. Archie stopped breathing for a minute.
“Stay still.” Phoebe whispered hardly daring to be louder. They crept to the end of the tunnel until they came to the end where no door stood.
“Strange.” Archie said looking around, “What if it is here?” He reached out to where the handle would be and as he expected he touched a brass handle. He turned his hand and the door creaked open and they rushed in barely noticing that someone had followed them.
“Oh my god. Look at this!” Phoebe shouted as they entered a small room with only a huge screen. A small man sat at the table by the screen. On the screen it showed all of the children working.
“Who are you?” Archie asked, surprising the man so he fell of his chair. “Are you the master?”
“M…Master? Where is he?” the poor man quivered as he spoke.
“So you’re not the master. Then who are you?” Phoebe asked looking onto the big screen.
“I’m the imaginer. I create the scenes around you.”
“So none of this is real! How do we get out?” Archie asked astonished at this news.
“Only when the engines are shut down. But the master will never let that happen.”
“Who is the master?! Where are the engines? So all the kids are powering a machine to keep the world real! How are the toys alive?” Phoebe asked a series of questions came out of her mouth.
“I will not tell you anything! If the master finds out I will be dead!!” He answered looking around nervously as if someone was behind him. Finally the figure who had snuck in with them showed themselves.
“The master already knows. Ha-ha finally I will be the imaginer not you weak thing.” A tiny wind up mouse stood on the wooden floor cackling maliciously.
“How are you going to stop us?” Archie asked staring at the miniscule mouse.
“I am the masters second in command, I can call on him at any time in fact I called on him now!”
“No.” That was it. The last word of the poor imaginer before a massive black cloud swallowed him and when it cleared he was gone. Instead there was a huge figure with hooks for hand and staring black eyes. It grimaced at them and raised a hook at the two children.
“You two will pay.” He said but the knowledge they knew made them think. Where could the engine be? Archie suddenly ran of calling, “I know!” Phoebe followed but she was not quick enough. The towering giant of the master caught her.
“If you keep going you can stop all of this!” She shouted as He ran back to Rafi and Simone.
“Rafi! Simone! This is very important and I don’t have much time to do it. Is there anything the dolls try to hide here?” Simone and Rafi thought for a while and then Rafi had it.
“There are two things they try to hide. The first is this crack of light…” But Archie cut him off and said, “I know that.”
“The second it this golden tunnel. They keep everyone away from it. Once we tried to see what it was but they threatened to kill us and whipped us for going near.”
“Thank you!” Archie cried and ran off when Rafi had finished the sentence. He carried on running until he could see no more of the children. He looked around hoping to see something that would lead him to what he was looking for. It was when the master approached Archie saw it. A gleaming entrance guarded by at least ten dolls. How was he going to get in? The master was right behind him when the idea struck him. He reached out to touch the master.
“No! Don’t touch me!” The master cried but as soon as Archie did he felt an immense serge of power. He ran at the dolls guarding the engine room and they all started to run for cover. He opened the door and a huge skink hit him. It smelled of sour cheese and rotten eggs. He struggled through the stench and crawled to the back of the room where the engine sat. It was much bigger than Archie has anticipated. Still he searched it looking for an off button.
“Looking for something?” A small rubber horse toy looked at him. “Don’t worry I’m not like them, I know where the off switch is.”
“But then you won’t exist.” Archie said looking at the horse. Its black painted eyes stared back at him.
“Yes I will. I just won’t move or talk.” The horse said in a matter of fact tone of voice. “If you’re looking for the switch it is on the other side. A small green one on the right.” Archie did as the toy said and found it.
“Thank you.” He pressed it. A swirling green mist appeared and the setting evolved. Archie shut his eyes. When he opened them he was in the old bike shop. His sister was standing next to him and there was no suitcase in sight. Instead of being the morning it was dusk and lamps were on in the street.
“Phoebe, was that just a dream?” Archie asked but didn’t listen to the reply because he saw a small wooden horse lying on its back. He picked it up and put it in his pocket. “Welc
Many thanks Hana.
my name is abubakarr
I think they will touch it and they will be kidnapped and transported to the owner and held hostage but manage to escape and live.
Thank you Abubakarr.
Here is my entry:
“I don’t know, maybe we should just leave them as they seem kinda creepy and I don’t want to see what happens when you touch them.” said Simone. “Your just too scared to touch it!” said Rafi. “I’m not scared I just don’t want to risk it, that’s all!” replied Simone.
“Anyway, I’m still going to touch it whether you are or not.” said Rafi aggressively “Fine, if you get sucked away or something happens to you then that’s on you not me.” declared Simone. “Cool lets do it!” said Rafi excitedly. Rafi tapped each one three times and nothing happened, he then said to Simone ” See told you nothing would happen!” said Rafi ” Well I won’t be too sure about that when you look behind you.” said Simone smiling.
As Rafi turned around he saw a massive hole trying to pull him in, but Rafi fought against it. He cried out: ” Help me Simone, don’t just stand there!” “I’m not going to help you, we made a deal, remember!” “But…but……noooooooo…..” said Rafi as the hole pulled him in, swallowing him whole. Then all of a sudden, the suitcase shut and locked itself and Simone put it back in the closet, got on his bike and rode home laughing to himself. Did he do it on purpose? Did he want to get rid of Rafi? All we know is that Rafi never came back and Simone was never seen again.
`Many thanks Arthur.
BACK IN TIME
They pressed the suitcase three times,there was a loud thud and the suitcase closed. Rafi and Simone started to decinigrate until nothing was left of them.It was the next day they woke up and thought it was a nightmare until they opened their eyes and were in a house a house that wasn’t theirs.
They heard a bang it sounded like a bomb,both looked out of window and it was a bomb. As they screamed and ran more bombs hit the ground. Out of nowhere they saw the suitcase once again and pressed it once to go back.It took a few minutes to realise there were back in time,both wondered where they went,they couldn’t figure it out so they just followed the next instruction on the paper , they pressed the suitcase twice,yet again they started to decinagrate, they woke up but this time not in a house but in the middle of nowhere, they felt weird . Their arms was short,their body was big and somehow they had less fingers they where dinosaurs!!! Not any dinosaurs T-rexes they screamed and as they spotted the suitcase a triceratops steps on it there was a loud SNAP after that there was silence before saying these questions ; how will we get home? will we ever see our family again? as soon as he said that a bright,red,blazing ball of fire fell from the sky Simone said ”a meteor” Rafi just stares.They are astonished,just as their an inch away doom, they wake up in there house Rafi and Simone are relieved it was a nightmare.
or was it…
AJ YEAR 5
Pakeman Primary School
Thank you AJ.
As they read the letter, confused they had no idea what to do with the toys.
“So what should we do,” asked Rafi. But he turned around to see Simon using both hand about to grab all of the toys, he gave him a slap to stop him hfrom doing so. ” What was that for, ” Simon said in surprise that his friend just slap him just like that. “Didn’t you read the letter, it says If we touch all three of them we would have to meet whoever wrote the letter. ” And so, how is that bad. ” responded simon. ” Do you even know him, he could be dangerous. “Now that i think of it you do have a point , but what about that if we touch both toys it will change us.” Sam stated.
” Anyways how old do you think the suitcase and toys,in fact how old is the house anyways ?” Rafi asked as he explore the house. The old house must have been little more than a glorified shed even in it’s hay day . The windows were gaping holes for the wind to rush in and out through and the door hung on it’s hinges at a jaunty angle, although now it was really just a frame.
As I was done. i looked back to see Simon about to touch two toys. “What are you” but he was too late as a bright light covered his view. ” aaaaaaah” they both screamed. As they were able to see again they found themself on grassy ground. There were trees around and animals with unusual colours, like that pink rabbit looking at them curiously and that wait is that a pegasus. It was like an enchanted forest with wonders and they had much to explore. three words. where are they.
Thank you Sean.
They will take it to their house they all touch it and they will we be transported to a world like jumanji where they have to seal the suitcase to escape from the evil wizard
“I don’t know.”said Simone worried.
“Maybe it is just some sort of warning to people…” added Rafi.
* ＣＲＥＥＫ*
“Did you hear that?” whispered Simone.
“What!?” said Rafi.
“Be quiet and listen…” whispered Simone.
* ＣＲＥＥＫ*
“Did you hear ᴛʜᴀᴛ earlier?” exclaimed Rafi.
“Yes…we’re not alone…” answered Simone.
“What do we do?” said Rafi with a stressed voice.
“Maybe it is the ‘someone’ who left the note…”added Rafi.
“It could be…” whispered Simone.
“…come let’s check.”
“Are you
Thank you Sebastian.
“Who do you think wrote that?” said Simone.
“What shall we do?” said Rafi.
“I really think we should go,” told Rafi nervously
“But.”
“What if it means something.”
“We should open it,” said Simone
As they open it Rafi stands back like something will explode.
Carefully and silently both Rafi and Simone stood there for a minute. Thinking.
“What is it,” asked Rafi
“A book and a few weapons”
As Simone held a shotgun, BANG!”
They fell straight to the floor begging for help, they couldn’t get up nor move at all.
3 Men broke the door down and got in falling after the explosion
They saw 2 boys on the floor still breathing but paralyzed.
Sirens came From all directions, the men got up and hid in the large closet trying to hide from someone that they knew.
Thank you Andrew.
STOP do not go that way they will get you if you do oh not there come we need to go I said to the loner who was going to get cort seeing that it a break out a break out from the people with black mask the people who keep doing test on every one in this place come with me I said to him he when with me to a safe spot but then he asked me if there really is a safer spot I said not really but one places over that mouton just beyond the wall that keep us in and every on else really he responded I said yes do you want to come I said if we make we can get help and we can expose this place and get a back family to are family what is a family oh your a new year well a family is a…
Thank you Tadiwa.
Writing Competition entry from Zack (Year 6, Thornhill):
“The note can’t be real.” said Simone. They took a toy each, Simone the toy doll and Rafi, the ribbon. After they both had a good look they swapped toys. They got bored easily. Whilst playing with them Rafi noticed a cute wind up bird, he picked it up and said “ These are from the Victorian …”
Simone couldn’t believe her eyes, Rafi got sucked into the case, anxiety rushed through her veins, she had thoughts like” Oh my god what happened, will I see him again, should I go get him?!”She noticed it was his third touch that made him disappear, she picked up the toy and closed her eyes and when she opened them she was in a different time, in a different place. She saw Rafi and he said , gazing at the streets,
“ We’re in Victorian times!” Everything was different, kids running around barefoot, they were wearing rags and their skin was so dirty that you couldn’t see their actual skin. They were staring at them in amazement whispering” Look how clean they are, they must be rich.” There were so many of them that they were scared to speak. The streets covered in filth dust and even diseases.
“ Do you have the note?!” Simone said quick and intensely, she brushed her fingers throw her hair, which she does when stressed.
“ What note, oh yeah the note I do why?”replied Rafi
“ What was the third sentence?”She was eager to know, she needed to know.
“ It was, touch three come and see me.”
“We’ve got to find somebody, what did the label on the doll say?”
“ It said Handy man workshop why?”
“ It’s settled, that’s were we are going.”
So they ran the streets of old dirty London, this was worse for Simone because it was like a school trip for because Rafi would tell her so many facts. She was in heaven when he stopped and ran out of breath.
Later that day, they found Handy man workshop as they entered they tirelessly went to the man working there and said”Do you know somebody with this handwriting?”
“I doth.”The man said
Rafi whispered to Simone” That means do?”
“He is called William Runch, you two can find him at the festival downtown today he’ll be wearing a suit with stripes he will.”
“ Thanks. ”They politely said
“Godspeed.”
After twenty tiring minutes of searching they were at the festival. Now all that they had to do was find William Runch which was extremely difficult and when the sun fell he was there, standing still, they ran to him and said”Take us back home were from the future.”
He sighed heavily “I new this would come, I can’t that note was meant to stop you so now you’re stuck here.”
They both cried aloud “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”They ran out of hope. This was the end of the road.
Thank you Zack.
This is my entry:
“We should just leave it as it is kind of scary.” whispered Simone.”I thought you wouldn’t be scared of a suitcase.”said Rafi.”It’s not the fact that i’m scared, i’m just confused at the fact it is stuffed right at the back of the cupboard this just seems very sketchy.”stated Simone.”Well I’m going anyway!” said Rafi . As he said thees words a huge portal was sucking them in he shouted “Help me Simone” who quickly raced across the room to help his friend. They pulled with all their force but the pull got stronger and they were both sucked in never to be seen again.
Thank you Chima.
Continuation of story.
‘Who do You think wrote it?’ said Simone
‘What shall We do?’ said Raif.
‘Who do You think wrote it?’ Simone repeated the question once more as he held up the note with spidery handwriting scrawled all over it. ‘Think about it?’
‘Albert Crabwater.’ The words struggled to leave Raif’s mouth as his eyes started to dance around in dizziness and excitement . ‘You really think it was Albert Crabwater?’They both knew all about Albert Crabwater. He was a magician. The grown ups had always laughed at the idea that Albert Crabwater, a man that ate crab paste sandwiches washed down with dandelion and cucumber juice for breakfast was some kind of powerful magician. As far as the adults were concerned he was just a harmless old bearded fool driven mad by his time as a soldier in battle, the hardness of life and old age but the kids saw it differently. He may have come back from war a broken man but Albert Crabwater found meaning in the magic of giving which allowed him to help others find meaning in their own lives.
The house had been boarded up for months. No one wanted to live there. No one even wanted to buy the land so the house had just been left to rot.
‘We take the stuff and run is what We do before if someone spots us and takes this all of Us. All Our hard work would have been for nothing.’ spluttered Simone.
Raif looked down at the contents of the tatty suitcase, the battered, rusting but beautifully sculptured, brightly coloured World War One toy soldier, a funny looking clockwork bird with a key sticking out off its back and the creepy looking old doll with big black holes for eyes which were made of corn tied together with a long ribbon. The toys may have been overflowing with magic but they looked more like rubbish ready for the bin.
‘Touch one, just for fun.”Touch two, that will change You.”Touch three, to come and see me.’
‘Don’t You see?’ bellowed Simone. ‘Albert Crabwater wrote this note. It’s clues.’
‘Clues for what?’ asked Raif.
‘to conjure up his spirit so he can grant Us Our three wishes.’ Simone replied.
‘But how are they clues?’ asked Raif.
‘That why We need to take them with Us because right now I don’t know. I just don’t know.’
to be continued.
Thank you Sophie.
This is my edited entry,
Rafi felt uneasy, as if somebody had left the suitcase there deliberately, as a trap.
“Creak,” went the rusty floorboards.
Rafi nearly jumped out of his skin! He didn’t know what, but there was something mysterious about this house, and he didn’t want to find out. Suddenly, a cold shiver crawled up his back.
“Simone, maybe we should just leave, after all, this doesn’t belong to us!” he said worryingly, almost pleading.
Simone laughed, “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure. ”
Rafi knew this would happen, Simone was great, but she could sometimes be a bit stubborn.“My sense of adventure is in my house, safe,” Rafi replied sarcastically.
“All right” said Simone, “you don’t have to touch it, I will, you just close your eyes,” Simone said, feeling sorry for Rafi.
“Ok, if you’re sure,” and he shut his eyes.
He heard one knock, then two and finally three. He curled up tightly, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. He opened his eyes, expecting ,Simone to brag about how she was right, but Simone wasn’t there!
“Simone, Simone where are you, if this is one of your silly pranks I’m not falling for it,” he cried desperately.
But there was no reply, Rafi suddenly hated himself, why was he such a scaredy cat? Why hadn’t he been looking when Simone disappeared? He took a deep breath and went up to the old suitcase. He tapped each toy in turn one time and nothing happened. But when he did it the second time, everything grew. Or.. he was shrinking.
“Aaargh!” he screamed, “Help!”
What was happening, would he stay like this forever? Suddenly, he heard a deafening sound that cut him off his thoughts. It was the chime of a cuckoo clock. He turned around and saw a Bird, THE toy bird, alive. Next to him were the ragged doll and the Tinman. He screamed the loudest scream ever.
“Calm down, we’re not going to hurt you,” the Bird said comfortingly.
“Speak for yourself, I haven’t eaten in donkey’s years,” the Tinman said grumpily, patting his tummy.
The Tinman was looking at Rafi with so much dislike, it was a wonder he could move his face!
“Don’t mind him,” the Doll squeaked.
Rafi needed time to digest everything. Once he got over the shock, he asked the Tinman angrily, “Is that what you’ve done, have you eaten Simone?”
The Tinman smiled maliciously.
Bird, seeing the smile, said “ Simone, the little girl, of course not, we’re not monsters, well me and Doll aren’t, I don’t know about Tinman, Simone’s over here.”
Rafi followed her and saw Simone sitting in a corner of the suitcase sobbing. It felt weird, he’d never seen Simone cry, she was always so tough, it was always him who cried. Rafi didn’t have any friends other than Simone. Lots of people bullied him for being friends with a girl, but he didn’t care. He ran over to comfort her.
“Simone it’s OK, we’re going to find a way back home.” he sympathised.
Simone looked at him as if she just realised he was there.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you, I suppose you want to boast now.” Simone said
in a high-pitched voice
“No, I’ll leave the bragging to you,”Rafi replied.
They both laughed.
“Let’s go and ask the toys how to go back,” Rafi said, thinking of a plan.
“No point, I already asked, Tinman is the only person who knows how but he won’t tell us,” she sighed.
“Well then we’ll just have to convince him,” said Rafi, confidently.
They walked over to Tinman.
“I know what you’re going to say and the answers no!” he shouted annoyed.
“But why? We’ll be off your back, just let us go home,” they both pleaded.
“If you don’t we’ll constantly annoy you,”said Rafi, and he knew he had won the argument.
“Okay, but you’ll need Bird and Doll,” he agreed reluctantly.
“We’re here, what do you want with us?” Doll asked curiously.
“Well… because you had to touch us three times for us to come alive, you have to do the same thing again,” Tinman explained.
“So you guys will go back to being toys again?” Rafi asked sadly.
“Yes, that’s why there’s a catch,” said Tinman, “you have to take us to your homes, I’m tired of living in the suitcase and bring us back to life every week.”
“ Okay, thank you so much,” Rafi said, and Simone nodded his appreciation .
“Mind you don’t do it so hard,” Tinman mumbled, but he was pleased for them.
Once they had all said their goodbyes, Tinman, Doll and Bird stood in a line.
“In three, two, one, now!”
They landed with a thud on the floor, back to their normal size.
“Wow, that was quite an adventure,” said Simone, relieved.
“I know, but if you ask me, I’ve had quite enough adventure to last me a whole lifetime.” Rafi replied.
And so they took the toys and went back home, forever grateful, fulfilling their promise every single week.
– Farida, Pakeman Primary, Year Six
Albert Lee, Ambler School
The two boys were glued to the three queer toys. A couple nervous looks and stuttering ensued, ignoring it was out of the question. “I say we…” Simone was interrupted by a sudden lock of the door behind them. It was as if destiny was luring them towards it. Rafi re-read the note, “Touch one, just for fun… touch two, that will change you… touch three come and see me…” the damp walls in the room started to look like it was towering over them.
“Where are WE” Simone screeched with a trembling lip.
It took a while for Rafi to reply, he was repeating the words in his head over and over, clanging from left and right in his mind, he finally paused and struggled to say “I-I I don’t know… but were trapped…” all there was to do was play with the toys, questions flew in their heads not stopping anytime soon. Why. How. What.
Simone took the deepest, most nervous breath he had ever taken, “I will touch the second one..” he felt as if he said it bravely but it was really a half whimper half whisper. His hand and directed it toward the mini soldier, maybe this was all a joke, yes a harmless joke he thought. As his first finger touched it Rafi stepped as far back as he could from Simone. To their surprise nothing happened.
“So this was all a… A JOKE” Rafi yelled with a murderous look.
Simone froze – his head turned 180 degrees and starred right at Rafi, his eyes beamed but not a colour of hope, but a colour of pure evil, “No my friend,” his mouth curved to make a horrifying grin as he twitched, “it was not…” A sudden light-flicker and a huge crashed was the last thing Rafi heard… he was in a bed and an alarm he thought was his was beeping. So it was all a dream, he thought. A middle-aged woman burst through the door opposite him. It was not his mum, but Simone’s.
“Simone!!!” she said to him, “time for breakfast…”
Zazie, Ambler School
“I’m not sure,” said Simone, “But I like the little corn doll!” She reached out to touch it, but Rafi grabbed her hand.
“No, we can’t risk anything. Don’t touch it, or any of the other toys.” Simone sighed but agreed. “Alright, alright. But what do you think the note means?” She paused. “Is it talking about.. them?” She was pointing at the tin soldier and the bird, and the small corn doll inside the case. Simone looked up at Rafi. “Rafi, we’re going to have to touch the toys, if we’ve any chance of escaping this place. You know that horrible wizard who took us here won’t unlock the door, so we might as well try to escape ourselves.” Rafi looked around at the dilapidated room, paint peeling off the walls, broken planks of wood scattered around them, and a small mattress with brown stains over it being the only thing close to comforting.
“I’m just scared. My mother said nothing bad would ever happen to me, and she would make sure of it! But here I am, trapped in some old wizard’s house with a girl.”
“Hey, not just any girl! The girl who’s going to get us out of here. Not your stupid mother, who never even cared about you anyway.” Rafi looked down. Simone stopped, realising what she had just said. “Rafi, I didn’t mean that… Your mother does care about you.”
“She doesn’t. She never did. She probably said that to shut me up when I was younger.” Simone saw him wipe a tear off his face.
“Well who cares. We don’t need mothers, do we? We can run away together,” she said. Rafi smiled.
“Stop dreaming,” he said, picking up the note and reading it once again. “Touch one, just for fun. Well, that isn’t going to help. Touch two. That will change you.” Rafi glanced up at Simone. “Too risky.” Simone snatched the note out of Rafi’s hands.
“Might be worth a try.” She looked back to the paper. “Touch three, to come and see me? Someone offering to help?” Rafi nodded.
“Go on, Simone. Touch the corn doll.” He told her. Simone reached out slowly and tentatively and picked it up. Suddenly, the children heard footsteps coming towards the door. They stood up quickly and clasped hold of each other’s hands. The door creaked open. A large corn doll opened the door and gestured to them to come closer.
“Children,” she whispered. “Come here.” Simone led Rafi, who had frozen in shock, to the doll, and she picked them up in her arms and brought them home.
“Who do you think wrote that?” said Simone.
“What shall we do?” said Rafi.
Rafi reached for the corn doll.
“Rafi DON’T YOU DARE!” said Simone “Listen to me I’m 7 minutes older than you -”
“Aww,” Rafi said tauntingly putting her hand on her hip “Is my big brother a scaredy-cat!”
” RAFI – Hold on a second, look there are numbers carved in the toys.”
“Trying to change the subject, how babyish.”
“No, I’m serious look…”
Simone pointed to the bottom of the corn doll.
“Ohh…” her voice trailed off “So if we touch it then we’ll see the ‘someone’?”
“I think so.”
Before Simone could stop her, Rafi reached the for the doll.
Nothing happened.
“I told you you were being a wimp for no reason,” said Rafi convulsed with laughter.
A distorted voice began “Are you sure it was for no reason Rafi Rose Middleton.”
“What the heck?” the twins said simultaneously for no-one knew their full names apart from…
“Oh yeah! I know everything about you. You to Simone Alex Middleton. Ten years ago we were playing together with one of your ‘weekly’ toys making me ashamed of what I had – a corn doll, a clockwork bird and a metal soldier, but that’s beside my objective, you will suffer like I did to only then DIE.
“Joie?…” Rafi asked holding her brother’s hand voice trembling “If that’s you, I just want to say I’m sorry. Not like that’ll change what happened. I’ll never forgive myself for what happened. When you died I couldn’t sleep. But I kept on telling myself that you were resting in peace.”
Joie’s voice was no longer distorted when she scoffed “Peace. PEACE! HOW ON EARTH DO YOU THINK I REST IN ‘PEACE’ KNOWING MY SUFFERING WAS CAUSED BY MY SO-CALLED BEST FRIENDS! You know I loved you two you guys were closer to me than my mum, my dad and even my twin! Now…” she began to cry “N-n-now y-you’ll suf-f-fer”
The wall began to shake and doors started to slam.
1 week later.
“Is she gone?” she asked in a low whisper Rafi.
Filth knawed at them like an antibody to a virus.
“I think so…” said Simone.
“Remember the plan?” asked Rafi.
“You bet”
They climbed out of the small window surviving death. The only reason they survived is the Tin soldier. It changed them – every time they touched it they were no longer hungry.
By Daniya Age 11 Ambler Primary school Year 6
-I apologise I didn’t write it out correctly.-
They climbed out of the small window surviving death. The only reason they survived is the Tin soldier but they never found out what the clockwork bird did…
It changed them – every time they touched it they were no longer hungry.
But just before they entered their dead friend’s house they weren’t sure if ghosts were real. Now they know…
Daniya Ambler
Rafi felt uneasy, as if someone had left it there deliberately, as a trap. “Creakkk,” went the floorboards. Rafi nearly jumped out of his skin, he didn’t exactly know what, but there was something mysterious about this house, and he didn’t want to find out. “Simone, maybe we should just leave,” he said worryingly, almost pleading. Simone laughed, “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure. ” Rafi knew this would happen, Simone was great, but he could sometimes be a bit stubborn. “My sense of adventure is in my house, safe,” Rafi replied sarcastically. “All right” said Simone,”you don’t have to touch it, I will, you just close your eyes,” Simone said, feeling sorry for Rafi. “Ok, if you’re sure,” and he shut his eyes. He heard one knock, then two and finally three. He curled up tightly, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. He opened his eyes, expecting ,Simone to brag about how he was right, but Simone wasn’t there! “Simone, Simone where are, if this is one of your silly pranks I’m not falling for it.” But there was no reply, Rafi suddenly hated himself, why was he such a scaredy cat? Why hadn’t he been looking when Simone disappeared? He took a deep breath and went up to the rusty suitcase. He tapped each toy in turn one time and nothing happened. But when he did it the second time, everything grew. Or.. he was shrinking. What was happening, would he stay like this forever? Suddenly, he heard a deafening sound that cut him off his thoughts. It was the chime of a cuckoo clock. He turned around and saw a bird, the toy bird, alive. Next to him were the ragged doll and the tinman. He screamed the loudest scream ever. “Calm down, we’re not going to hurt you,” the bird said comfortingly. “Speak for yourself, I haven’t eaten in donkey’s years,” the tinman said grumpily. “Don’t mind him,” the doll squeaked. Rafi needed time to digest everything. When he got over the shock, he asked the tinman angrily,” Is that what you’ve done, have you eaten Simone?” The tinman smiled maliciously. Bird, seeing the smile, said “The little boy, of course not, we’re not monsters, well me and dolly aren’t, he’s over here.” Rafi followed her and saw Simone sitting in a corner of the suitcase sobbing. It felt weird, he’d never seen Simone cry, it was always him who did. He ran over to comfort him.
“Simone it’s OK, we’re going to find a way back home.” he sympathized.
Simone looked at him as if he just realized he was there.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you, I suppose you want to brag now.” Simone said thickly.
“No, I’ll leave the bragging to you,”Rafi replied. They both laughed.
“Let’s go and ask the toys how to go back,” Rafi said, thinking of a plan.
“No point, I already asked, tinman is the only person who knows how but he won’t tell us,” he sighed.
“Well then we’ll just have to convince him,” said Rafi, confidently.
They walked over to Tinman.
“I know what you’re going to say and the answers no!” he shouted annoyed.
“But why? We’ll be off your back, just let us go home,” they both pleaded.
“If you don’t we’ll constantly annoy you,”said Rafi, and he knew he had won.
“Okay, but you’ll need Bird and Dolly.”
“We’re here, what do you want with us,” Dolly said.
“Well… because you had to touch us three times, you have to do the the same thing again,” Tinman explained.
“Thank you so much,” Rafi said, and Simone nodded.
“Mind you don’t do it so hard,” Tinman mumbled, but he was pleased for them.
Once they had all said their goodbyes, Tinman, Dolly and Bird stood in a line.
“In three, two, one, now!”
They grew and grew until they were normal size.
“Wow, that was quite an adventure,”said Simone.
“I know, but if you ask me, I’ve had quite enough adventure to last me my whole life.” Rafi replied.
– Farida, Pakeman Primary
The children sat for a while, thoughts revolving around their heads. Rafi was just about to tell Simone about his next idea when they heard their mother shouting from below. “Coming!” Simone called down the staircase while Rafi closed the suitcase and together they went down the staircase, carrying the suitcase with them. Halfway down, Rafi slipped and dropped the suitcase, which hit the stairs and fell open. Simone cried out. “What have you done, Rafi! Help me pick them all up!”
“Sorry,” said Rafi with a guilty look on his face. “You know I’m clumsy.”’
He bent down and just as he was about to pick up the tin soldier, he noticed something.
“Look Simone! There’s a number on the back of the soldier!”
Simone rushed over and saw that he was right. There was a big one scrawled in marker across the back of the soldier. Then it dawned on her.
“Rafi, get me the parchment.”
He did and she peered at it closely then said, “It all fits.”
“What all fits?” asked Rafi.
“The number. If we touch the tin soldier nothing will happen. But if we touch the…” She glanced over her shoulder and saw the doll lying on the staircase. “If we touch the doll then it will somehow change us.”
“Oh, I see. So we shouldn’t touch the sparrow or the doll, right?”
Simone nodded then used the suitcase to pick up all of the dolls except for the soldier, which Rafi picked up. He was putting the soldier back in the box when his fingers brushed the corn doll. Simone watched in horror as Rafi slowly turned into stone. She knew what she needed to do to save Rafi but she didn’t have the courage to do it. After a long pause, she tentatively reached out her hand and touched the clockwork sparrow…
The ending should be this:
“What all fits?” asked Rafi.
“The number. If we touch the tin soldier nothing will happen because it only says “Touch one, just for fun.” But if we touch the…” She glanced over her shoulder and saw the doll lying on the staircase with the number two on its back. “If we touch the doll then it will somehow change us.”
“Oh, I see. So we shouldn’t touch the sparrow or the doll, right?”
Simone nodded then used the suitcase to pick up all of the dolls except for the soldier, which Rafi picked up. He was putting the soldier back in the box when his fingers brushed the corn doll. Simone watched in horror as Rafi slowly turned into stone. She knew what she needed to do to save Rafi but she didn’t have the courage to do it. After a long pause, she tentatively reached out her hand and touched the clockwork sparrow…
Audrey Ambler School
Jack Werner Ambler School
This is my edited entry,
Rafi felt uneasy, as if somebody had left it there deliberately, as a trap.
“Creak,” went the rusty floorboards.
Rafi nearly jumped out of his skin! He didn’t know what, but there was something mysterious about this house, and he didn’t want to find out. Suddenly, a cold shiver crawled up his back.
“Simone, maybe we should just leave, after all, this doesn’t belong to us!” he said worryingly, almost pleading.
Simone laughed, “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure. ”
Rafi knew this would happen, Simone was great, but he could sometimes be a bit stubborn.
Rafi felt uneasy, as if someone had left it there deliberately, as a trap. “Creakkk,” went the floorboards. Rafi nearly jumped out of his skin, he didn’t exactly know what, but there was something mysterious about this house, and he didn’t want to find out. “Simone, maybe we should just leave,” he said worryingly, almost pleading. Simone laughed, “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure. ”
Rafi knew this would happen, Simone was great, but he could sometimes be a bit stubborn.
“My sense of adventure is in my house, safe,” Rafi replied sarcastically.
“All right” said Simone, “you don’t have to touch it, I will, you just close your eyes,” Simone said, feeling sorry for Rafi.
“Ok, if you’re sure,” and he shut his eyes.
He heard one knock, then two and finally three. He curled up tightly, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. He opened his eyes, expecting ,Simone to brag about how he was right, but Simone wasn’t there!
“Simone, Simone where are you, if this is one of your silly pranks I’m not falling for it,” he cried desperately.
But there was no reply, Rafi suddenly hated himself, why was he such a scaredy cat? Why hadn’t he been looking when Simone disappeared? He took a deep breath and went up to the old suitcase. He tapped each toy in turn one time and nothing happened. But when he did it the second time, everything grew. Or.. he was shrinking.
“Aaargh!” he screamed, “Help!”
What was happening, would he stay like this forever? Suddenly, he heard a deafening sound that cut him off his thoughts. It was the chime of a cuckoo clock. He turned around and saw a Bird, THE toy bird, alive. Next to him were the ragged doll and the Tinman. He screamed the loudest scream ever.
“Calm down, we’re not going to hurt you,” the Bird said comfortingly.
“Speak for yourself, I haven’t eaten in donkey’s years,” the Tinman said grumpily, patting his tummy.
The Tinman was looking at Rafi with so much dislike, it was a wonder he could move his face!
“Don’t mind him,” the Doll squeaked.
Rafi needed time to digest everything. Once he got over the shock, he asked the Tinman angrily, “Is that what you’ve done, have you eaten Simone?”
The Tinman smiled maliciously.
Bird, seeing the smile, said “ Simone, the little girl, of course not, we’re not monsters, well me and Doll aren’t, I don’t know about Tinman, Simone’s over here.”
Rafi followed her and saw Simone sitting in a corner of the suitcase sobbing. It felt weird, he’d never seen Simone cry, she was always so tough, it was always him who cried. Rafi didn’t have any friends other than Simone. He ran over to comfort her.
“Simone it’s OK, we’re going to find a way back home.” he sympathized.
Simone looked at him as if he just realized he was there.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you, I suppose you want to brag now.” Simone said thickly.
“No, I’ll leave the bragging to you,”Rafi replied.
They both laughed.
“Let’s go and ask the toys how to go back,” Rafi said, thinking of a plan.
“No point, I already asked, Tinman is the only person who knows how but he won’t tell us,” she sighed.
“Well then we’ll just have to convince him,” said Rafi, confidently.
They walked over to Tinman.
“I know what you’re going to say and the answers no!” he shouted annoyed.
“But why? We’ll be off your back, just let us go home,” they both pleaded.
“If you don’t we’ll constantly annoy you,”said Rafi, and he knew he had won the argument.
“Okay, but you’ll need Bird and Doll,” he agreed reluctantly.
“We’re here, what do you want with us?” Doll asked curiously.
“Well… because you had to touch us three times for us to come alive, you have to do the same thing again,” Tinman explained.
“So you guys will go back to being toys again?” Rafi asked sadly.
“Yes, that’s why there’s a catch,” said Tinman, “you have to take us to your homes, I’m tired of living in the suitcase.”
“ Okay, thank you so much,” Rafi said, and Simone nodded his appreciation .
“Mind you don’t do it so hard,” Tinman mumbled, but he was pleased for them.
Once they had all said their goodbyes, Tinman, Doll and Bird stood in a line.
“In three, two, one, now!”
They landed with a thud on the floor, back to their normal size.
“Wow, that was quite an adventure,” said Simone.
“I know, but if you ask me, I’ve had quite enough adventure to last me a whole lifetime.” Rafi replied.
And so they took the toys then went back home.
– Farida, Pakeman Primary, Year Six
After they found the doll, they were so surprised because the doll looked so familiar, because they had a similar doll at school.All of a sudden, the doll spoke out randomly
and they were so scared so they ran.The next morning,when they went to school they were freaked out because their teacher turned into a talking creepy doll overnight, which was teaching pupils how to be a doll.At break time, they saw the leader of all dolls which was the ragged doll from the suitcase! They were trying to fight her but they got poisoned. When they went inside,they were crying there heads off, because they couldn’t even eat, they were the ugliest creatures of all everyone was super duper scared .Simon said “YOU GET OF MY FRIENDS OR ELSE I WILL KILL RAGGED DOLL!!!!!!!!!”
“Sure about that, you will never beat me, but if you do your friends will get poisoned even more then die.””I’m not scared I’m sure you can’t beat me and I know it’s true.”said Simon
After, they realised the ragged doll was called Peacock short for bird and her best friend is called Rafi but they hated everyone apart from each other.When they all went to bed they had very bad nightmares and they couldn’t go to sleep at all and they were tiered the rest of the day. But they killed Peacock and Rafi and they had the best rest life ever no dolls creeping them , poisoned people,they also had good dreams and best of all there was no people dying or crying .Two days after, everything was back to normal.
Maryama Pakeman
Continuation of story.
‘Who do You think wrote it?’ said Simone
‘What shall We do?’ said Raif.
‘Who do You think wrote it?’ Simone repeated the question once more as he held up the note with spidery handwriting scrawled all over it. ‘Think about it?’
‘Albert Crabwater.’ The words struggled to leave Raif’s mouth as his eyes started to dance around in dizziness. ‘You really think it was Albert Crabwater?’
They both knew all about Albert Crabwater. He was magician. The grown ups laughed at the idea that Albert Crabwater, a man that ate crab paste sandwiches washed down with dandelion and cucumber juice for breakfast was some kind of powerful magician. As far as the adults were concerned he was just a harmless old man driven mad by his time as a soldier, the hardness of life and old age but the kids saw it differently. He may have come back from war a broken man but Albert found meaning in the magic of giving which allowed him to help others find meaning in their own lives.
The house had been boarded up for months. No one wanted to live there. No one even wanted to buy the land so the house had just been left to rot.
‘We take the stuff and run is what We do before if someone spots us and takes this all of Us. All Our hard work would have been for nothing.’ spluttered Simone.
Raif looked down at the contents of the tatty suitcase, the battered, rusting but beautifully sculptured, brightly coloured World War One toy soldier, a funny looking clockwork bird with a key sticking out off its back and the creepy looking old doll with big black holes for eyes which were made of corn tied together with a long ribbon. The toys may have been overflowing with magic but they looked more like rubbish ready for the bin.
‘Touch one, just for fun.’
‘Touch two, that will change You.’
‘Touch three, to come and see me.’
‘Don’t You see?’ bellowed Simone once more. ‘Albert Crabwater wrote this note. It’s clues.’
‘Clues for what?’ asked Raif.
‘to conjure him up so he can grant Us Our three wishes. ‘ Simone replied.
‘But how are they clues?’ asked Raif.
‘That why We need to take them with Us because right now I don’t know.’
to be continued.
Thank you Sophie.
“RUN AWAY!!!!” screeched Simone. “No!” replied Rafi, short for Rafael. “Let’s take it with us.” Simone shouted, “Are you MAD? It’s dangerous!” But Rafi was not convinced. “Keep it, keep it, keep it …” He started up a chant. Simone was confused. Rafi wasn’t normally this much of a daredevil. They could all be killed! Then a creaking noise came from the suitcase. It started to open… then a bit more… then a bit more… The children screamed. They clutched one another for support. And that was when Simone woke up in her bed, shaking. Turns out she had been having a scary dream!
Thank you Electra.
The Groushoush Realm
Rafi reached his hand out uncertainty, wondering if he might gain some sort of disease if he touched one. His sister laughed mockingly at him before sneering, “Don’t be such a sissy, touch all of them – go on i dare you!” Rafi knew that he couldn’t back down from one of Simone’s dares, or the whole school would know about it before you could say elephant! He cautiously reached out his hands yet again, and breathed in a deep breath of dust before touching all three toys at once.
Instantly, Rafi felt something fog his brain as he began to spin. He heard Simone’s voice distantly calling something, but he could not make out the words. He felt hands grab his shoulders before he sank into darkness.
He woke up with a start, thinking SIMONE! He was in a bed. He tried to get up but couldn’t move his hands. He was handcuffed to the bed. He looked around desperately, before seeing her lying unconscious on the far side of the dark room in another bed. A booming voice said behind him, “You won’t get out of those easy!” It was a yeti! But Rafi didn’t care at that moment and instantly went into questioning. He asked in a rush, “Where am I? Who are you? AND WHY ARE ME AND MY SISTER HANDCUFFED TO BEDS?!” This is Groushous Realm, I am yeti who guards this place. You and sister are handcuffed to beds because came to Groushous Realm via toys- not allowed no longer, wrong, WRONG!” “All right, all right!” said Rafi, taken aback by the monster’s ferocity. “Why don’t we make a deal? You let me and my sister go home and we’ll never bother you or your …Realm again?” By now Simone had woken up and was doing the same act of gawping and staring as he had done before. It was the first time Rafi had seen Simone speechless in her life. She seemed to have heard what Rafi had said as she nodded and said, “Yes, yes, that’s a very good idea.” But the yeti shook his head and said “No, no…touched three toys.” And he recited the letter: “Touch one, fun. Touch two, change you. Touch three, come and see me!”
Rafi stared at the yeti and stuttered “Well, we accidentally touched three, and we’ve seen you. So we can go now, right?” But again the yeti shook his big, heavy head before saying “Touch three, not see me, see mistress”. Rafi looked over at Simone who was wide eyed with fear at the thought of the boss of this foul beast. Surely no one could be more scary than him… could they? Rafi lay still for a moment before saying to the yeti, “If we are going to see your… mistress, then you would have to let us go, right?”
“Wrong. Other yetis push you to mistress so keep handcuff.”
Simone had finally found her voice, and croaked, “B…but. There are more?” Just as she said that, a group of huge yetis with sleek brown fur came marching in. If Simone and Rafi were in baby shock before, then they were now in HUGE PARENT SCARE! Rafi saw Simone’s head loll back as she fell unconscious, just before the same happened to him.
As his eyelids began to flutter open, Rafi heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Oh goodie, they’re awake! Ciao darlings, bonjour, hallo, merhaba, koni-” but she was broken off by another unfamiliar voice, male this time, “I think that’s enough now darling.” Rafi saw a small woman dressed in a bright pink jumpsuit with her hair dyed pink tied up and looking like candy floss. She commanded, “Don’t tell me when it is enough, Gerald! I am the mistress of this land remember. Anyway, these adorable children have woken up. Look how sweet they are! Have you two lovelies come to stay with us?”
It was Simone who spoke, “We just want to get back home.” But the mistress smiled a sickly sweet smile and said “Well of course you’ll get home. But don’t you want to stay with us for a while? I knew you would!” she said before they could answer. She called to one of her yetis, “Mr Fluffy! Remove the children’s handcuffs, then take them to their quarters to get settled in.”
“Yes Ma’am” he replied, swiftly removing their handcuffs.
Ten minutes later, the children were climbing a sparkling, silver, spiral staircase to their quarters. They stopped at a diamond encrusted door, and Mr Fluffy opened it up with a golden key, your quarters miss…?” he looked down at Simone, waiting for an answer. “Lucy” she replied, giving Rafi a hard look that told him not to break her cover, and to do the same. He gave a small nod and Simone seemed satisfied. She asked, “Mr Fluffy, shall me and my brother not be sharing quarters?”
“Sorry Miss Lucy, but I was given strict orders to put you in different quarters from master…?
“Charles.” he replied grandly, and almost blew their cover by bursting out laughing as he saw Simone’s lip quiver with amusement, although he managed to compose himself just in time.
He left Simone to look around her quarters while he was taken to his, just across the hall. When they had reached a ruby studded door, Mr Fluffy gave him the key, and he went inside. He was too tired to look around properly, but even from a quick glance he could see that the room was extremely beautiful, with a glass chandelier hanging high above his head. Rafi said goodnight to Mr Fluffy, and went straight over to the giant four poster bed where he found some pyjamas, put them on, and went to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He woke up with a start and felt cold hardness underneath him, he was lying on stone! He looked around and saw that they were back in the castle where they had been on a school trip the day before, but nothing had changed. It looked as if he were in the same moment as the day before. Simone was still asleep, lying beside him and he rushed over to wake her up. From one look at Simone’s face, he could tell that it wasn’t a dream.
“I thought we’d have to escape,” she said “I didn’t think it would be that easy!”
A booming voice behind them said “it’s not over yet!” it was Mr Fluffy, and beside him, his mistress was giving one of her sickly sweet smiles!…
Thank you Hester. What school do you attend?
Yerbury
Amelie Year 6 Ambler
“What do you think the note means Rafi?”Simone said with a puzzled and intrigued look on her face.
“I want to touch them Simone.Oh do let me touch them” Rafi said excitedly. “I think the toys are magical. I really do Simone.Oh let’s touch them”. He could hardly contain himself jumping up and down
“Rafi, do calm down.They are only a bunch of old toys. The note could mean anything.Anyway we’ve got the rest of the house to explore”.Simone was trying to calm him down.
Rafi looked at the toys again then he glared at the note.He gently touched the clockwork bird. Nothing happened then he touched the tin soldier, still nothing.Simone was growing weary, she rolled back her eyes but had a rye smile.Then finally he touched the corn doll.
Immediately there was a thick cloud of smoke covering the whole area. Rafi and Simone had frozen still. The toys were in the case but the cloud of smoke was so thick it was hard to see.
Then slowly the cloud of smoke cleared. a faint noise could be heard. The children were in a state of bewilderment.They seemed to be in a daze for what seemed to be an eternity.Rafi and Simone both stared at each other, unsure as to what was happening.Rafi rubbed his eyes and to his amazement he saw a beautiful bird, a gleaming life size tin soldier and a life sized ragged corn doll.But they weren’t toys. They were real. Simone was gobsmacked.She just stood there with her jaw dropping, completely and utterly speechless.Neither of them had seen a real life full size tin soldier and ragged corn doll.The bird though was beautiful.It wasn’t clockwork anymore it was magical. Truely magical.They were real not just a bunch of old toys anymore.
“See Simone I told you! I said they were magical toys” Rafi shouted.
“I…I….I can see that”Simone stuttered,still staring in awe.
“Thank you my dear friends” a beautiful voice said. It was the bird.
“You have brought us back to life,after a 100 years. The curse has finally been broken. How can we ever repay you my dear friends” the bird added.
“An evil witch put a curse on us, a long long time ago in a land far far away.She turned us into toys and then we were left in this suitcase for all this time.Only the touch of a kind hearted, gentle, caring soul would set us free.”said the doll.She has the most softest, sweetest, beautiful voice.
“We…we..we” Rafi stuttered. “ We just moved into the house own the lane.I’ m Rafi, this is my sister Simone. We just wanted to explore this old empty house”.
“Well my dears, you do not realise what you have done.You have saved us.But now the time has come for us to go home.We shall meet again. This is just the beginning.Your adventures have just begun my friends.”said the bird.
And with that a massive cloud of smoke engulfed them again.Then the toys, well the magical toys, were gone.They had vanished just like that.
“Touch one because I’m bored?” said Simone.
“No,no,no,no whatever you do, do not touch any of them,” said Rafi.
“But Dad said I need to change if I want to go out on my own,” said Simone.
“But still Simone, listen to your older brother,” said Rafi.
But Simone wasn’t listening, he went and touched one. He then felt that he wanted to do it again. Rafi turned around and shouted “Nooo!”
Simone had touched the tin soldier and the clockwork bird so he had been changed but not in the way he wanted. He started as a mischievous silly lazy boy who always got up to no good and ended up as a lazy flat 2 dimensional figure.
Horrified at what had become of his younger brother, Rafi shrieked. He had only 2 choices, run away and be grounded for life for flattening his younger brother, or touch all of the 3 toys so he could see who had done this to his brother. He was about to choose the first option when he heard a whispery voice saying “ touch three touch three.” Rafi’s face turned pale, he became frozen in fear. His legs wouldn’t obey him as he moved towards the old box.His arms reached out and picked up the 3rd and final toy, the old doll.
A figure descended. It was a woman who looked very much like the old doll. Rafi instantly bombarded her with a ton of questions
“ Who are you?, what did you do to my brother?, why do you look so much like that doll?, are you evil?, do you eat children?” asked Rafi.
The woman said “ Surely you must have heard of the Cursed Queen, I was a star back in the early 1000s when I was cursed by an old hag named Dauce Wayne. She said “If you don’t kill 3, you will die for a 1000 years and forced to look like a doll and be trapped for all eternity. If you wake, you have to kill 3 in 3 minutes.” I now need to kill 3 in 10 seconds before help!!!!
Rafi asked “How do I save Simone?” Just then, in a flash of smoke, Dauce appeared. Rafi mumbled “ This is really not my day today.” Dauce said “Break 3, then I’ll set everyone free.” But Rafi had Simone’s hammer in his pocket (Simone snuck it in there to destroy his enemy’s house.)He broke all 3 toys in 3 seconds thus saving his brother, the cursed queen and himself from being grounded for his whole life, but little did he know, he set Dauce and every criminal in the world to wreak havoc on everyone…
Ayman Y6 Pakeman primary
Hi Michael, I can’t see the winning story. Piers Torday said it was amazing so i would like to read it. Thanks!
Hi Hana. I have to get approval from the pupil who won. They were very shy about sharing their writing so their teacher sent it to me privately by email. Their teacher is asking for permission so I hope you can read it soon.
Btw, you should be very proud of your entry. You’ve got a lot of talent as a writer and clearly a lot of enthusiasm too.